Babywise – The Early Days

This post was provided by Emily Parker from over at journeyofparenthood.com. Please join me in welcoming Emily to the Babywise-friendly Networked Blogs

I have had many of my sweet friends ask how I started out doing from the beginning. With my son, Kye, I did not learn about Babywise until he was three weeks old. But with my daughter, Brittlynn, I started from birth by using some of these techniques:

  • Focus on Full Feedings: Nothing else during the first two weeks matters. Just do your best to keep your baby AWAKE while eating to make sure they get a FULL feeding. You don’t want them to be snacking all the time…so tickle their feet, wet their little heads, do what you have to in order to keep them awake while they eat!
  • Feed On Demand: Whenever Brittlynn woke up, I fed her. Since I did focus so much of my effort on full feedings for her she fell into a natural 3 hour eating routine pretty early on. The better you do with the full feedings, the less often they will wake up hungry!
  • Wake the Sleeping Baby: Sleep is important, yes, but in the early days keeping your supply up and getting in those full feedings is TOP priority. Make sure you are feeding your baby 8-10 times a day in a 24 hour period. In the first few weeks they shouldn’t go longer than 3 hours between feedings (except after the late-evening feeding where you cross your fingers and hope they give you a little more rest!).
  • Eat-Awake-Sleep Cycle: A sleepy newborn is a common thing but even at the hospital I tried to have this cycle in place. After she ate I would try to keep her awake before putting her to sleep. Even if just for a few minutes! Literally, sometimes it was a quick second of her eyes being open before she went to sleep…but it counted 😉 Again, keeping the baby awake during feedings helps with this cycle. The only time you don’t want any awake time between eating and sleeping is during the middle of the night feedings!
  • Put the Baby DOWN to Sleep: I never held Britt to sleep. Even in the hospital I always put her down in her little crib when she was sleeping. At home we always put her in her crib or pack and play or bassinet to sleep…never in our arms! If she woke during nap I would move her to the swing to finish the nap but resisted ever rocking her/holding her to get her back to sleep. It did happen sometimes, but was always a last resort. That’s a beautiful thing about nursing…you get LOTS of cuddle time!
  • Avoid Sleep Props: With nursing you really want to avoid introducing a pacifier anyway, but I think it’s especially helpful for sleep training to not give the baby any type of prop. My son was a pacifier baby and was also a terrible napper up until we weaned him from the pacifier at age two. Brittlynn never took the pacifier and has been able to self-soothe so much better than Kye ever did!
  • Attack the Gas: Gassy babies struggle to sleep because they are in pain. Britt was a gassy baby and it did cause her sleep issues. During her (brief) awake times I would make my #1 goal helping her get rid of gas. There are all kinds of burping techniques and other tricks to relieve a gassy baby (I loved to pump her little legs! Always did the trick!) and you can also give gas drops when needed to help. A gas free baby is a happy baby 😉
  • Respect the “Schedule”: For the first couple of weeks there is NO set schedule. However, when she slept I didn’t wake her for visitors and such. People want to see the baby but I told them she was sleeping and let them know when I thought she’d be awake again if they wanted to stay. And even when she was awake she pretty much ate the entire time anyway so they could really only see the back of her head while I nursed her 😉 I would always let visitors hold and love on her as soon as she got done feeding, during those few rare awake moments!
  • Keep Sleep Conditions Consistent: We swaddled Brittlynn at the hospital and continued to do so as soon as we got home. We swaddled her every time she slept. We also made sure that wherever she was sleeping (in her room during naps, ours at night for the first couple of weeks) that it was kept very dark and that we had white noise of some kind. It’s important during awake times (feedings too!) to have the conditions be noticeably different than they are during sleep times (have it bright, no swaddling, etc).
  • REST: It is hard to do but you have to take care of yourself. Giving birth is no joke and you need your rest to be able to fully recover and give your best self to your baby. Whenever I wasn’t nursing Brittlynn I would try to soak in a bath or SLEEP. People will WANT to help you…let them. You need it! By taking care of myself I was better able to take care of her and give her what she needed to allow her to thrive 🙂
I truly believe that starting to implement the Babywise techniques from birth helped Brittlynn to develop into the wonderful sleeper she is today. It is such a blessing to have a baby who loves her sleep. We are able to spend more quality time with our son and as a family together because she is always well-rested!
Our family the night we came home from the hospital with Brittlynn!
Emily and family

Kindle Fire FreeTime Parental Controls Review

Daddy Life Podcast Episode 32Kindle Fire FreeTime Parental Controls

How Kindle Fire FreeTime works

FreeTime is an App that some preloaded on new Kindle Fire and Kindle Fire HD readers from Amazon.

What Kindle FreeTime does well

– Control amount of time kids spend on the three categories available (Apps, Video, Books)
– Restrict access to parent Kindle system apps, videos, Internet, Music*, Books
– Tracks book reading progress separately between parent and each of the kid profiles in Kindle FreeTime. My wife and my son are both reading The Roman, The Twelve, and The King by Jenny L. Cote. My son generally stays ahead of my wife so his place is saved in his FreeTime profile and does not affect the last read place saved by my wife in the main Kindle OS.

Kindle FreeTime failures with some workarounds

– Music is not accessible from within Kindle FreeTime with apps and services built in by default

Workaround: Install a music playing app. Then add the Music player app to your child’s Kindle FreeTime Apps. WARNING: The music app will burn up app time. There is no way to limit screen time per App so all apps count towards daily limit.

– Kindle opens into the last profile used in FreeTime or the main full featured profile if FreeTime was not active during last shutdown.

Workaround:

–  Kindle Fire has the ability to load a screen lock pin. We share this with our oldest son who is the primary user. We (my wife and I) are diligent to log into FreeTime and enter into Riley’s profile so that the Kindle will open back into his profile when the screen lock pin is entered. He gets to protect access to his apps and books from his younger brothers and we know he is only accessing his content because the Parental Controls password must be entered to get to the root OS of the Kindle Fire.

Kindle FreeTime Feature Requests Wish List

– Five minute warning before time allocation is up
– FreeTime profiles tied to screen lock PINs
– Add a music category that works like video category where parents can choose which songs kids can listen to. Then FreeTime App time is not eaten up by listening to music with 3rd party app.

PARENTING News

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Luck or Babywise?

Emily Parker over at The Journey of Parenthood has found freedom from that nasty four-letter word that so many Babywise fans face. LUCK. Emily has dispelled the myth of luck in parenting by repeating her results of having a content and well-adjusted child who sleeps through the night and naps like a champ. All too often parents who use principles from On Becoming Babywise are told how “lucky” they are to have such a content baby.

Emily shares har passion for Babywise and the results that the principles have delivered for her entire family. Visit her blog and welcome her into the family of Babywise Friendly BLogs.

Sensory Bins

Caden with his sensory fidgetSensory items are very familiar to our family. As the parent of a special needs child with developmental delays, we get creative in terms of finding objects our Caden can use to fidget with. One of my fellow Babywise Friendly Blogger friends has posted some great tips for creating sensory bins for home. Bethany from The Graceful Mom has collected resources from other Babywise friendly moms in forums and shared them in a blog post today titled Babwise Week: Sensory Bins. Bethany reminds us that sensory items are great for all children in their developmental process. She uses then in her regular routine with her preschooler.

Just this week I was at the hospital for an extended day of appointments related to Caden’s surgery, actually scheduled for today. My smart phone battery was drained and I didn’t have my charger or my wife’s iPod touch for Caden to watch movies or play games. Instead I got creative by given Caden an oversize pink paper clip and a condiment cup from the cafeteria. He is shown in this picture playing with these items as he browses books in the pediatric Cardiology waiting room at the Children’s Hospital at he Medical University fo SC.

 

The More Kids the Easier

A fellow Babywise Friend blogger has provided a great perspective on the difference between having many children verse one child. Valerie Plawman over at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom shares her encouragement as a mother of multiple children. She passes no judgement on parents who choose to have an only child, but instead offeres a unique and uplifting view of life as a mom of four children. She says:

“Seven years ago, I counted down the hours until my husband got home. Today, when he walks in the door I am shocked that the day is almost over. My children keep things interesting.”

What a joy that must give to her husband. Life as a stay-home mom of multipel children can and should be viewed as a benefit rather than a burden.

 

Does your husband have a free night?

Post by Bethany from The Graceful Mom blog

Date NightSomething my husband and I have done for a few years is give each other a “free night” every week. It is a night where the other spouse gets to have a night off and use the time however he or she chooses away from home. I say “away from home” because it does not seem to work well, at least for us, to block off time at home. It just works better to get out of the house, and that is part of the gift. Some weeks we both use our “free night” and some weeks my husband uses two while I use none. It all works out in the end but it has been a very fun way to bless the other person.

Even thought it might not seem like it at first, we believe it really ties in to the Ezzo/Babywise philosophy of have a parent-directed philosophy. Our children see us prioritizing the other parent’s need for some downtime, and it also gives the parent at home a fun tonight to do something a little special with our children. For instance, my husband almost always uses his night to play ultimate frisbee. Thursday nights have now become popcorn and movie night for me with the kids. They love it, I get some extra cuddle, and my husband comes home so energized. Honestly, one of the things I like the most is seeing how happy and refreshed my husband is after coming back home. I used to get so anxious about single-parenting nights…now I really, truly look forward to them. Either my husband is out exercising his heart out or I usually try to meet up with some girlfriends for dessert.

I truly believe that offering each other some downtime has been a key part of how successful our marriage has been. We do also make spending quality time together a high priority, but I have learned the value of giving my husband that special time to himself. Ironically, it makes our marriage better too. We plan these nights in advance, and it has actually been a lot of fun seeing what the other person decides to do.

I know it is hard finding one more night to set aside but I promise it is well worth it. So if you have noticed your husband or wife looking a little peaked and worn out…offer them a free night…their choice…their blessing!

Lying to our Kids

someecards.com - My parents accused me of lying today. Then I said,
When it is okay to lie to our kids? The answer to this question is often rooted in the definition of what a lie is. You may see little white lies as innocent. Things like Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and Santa are said to be imaginary fun. I might be able to buy that if the child used their own imagination to dream up these characters, but that’s not how it gets started is it? And then as parents we have to get creative to keep the fair tale going and keep the kids engaged in the “fun”.

I wrote a guest post titled 50 Shades of Lying on The Graceful Mom blog a few weeks ago. I shared some tips to help us model honesty so that we don’t get tagged as a hypocrite with or kids. This post was written as part of an ongoing guest blogging effort between a few Babywise-Friendly Network blogs. I wanted to challenge parents to think about the example they are setting for their kids. What happens when you catch your child in a lie and then they pull the hypocrite card? Is  it do as a I say and not as I do in your family? Do you try to justify your lying while punishing their lies, or do you come clean and ask your kids to forgive you for lying to them?

How good of an example do you set in the areas of honesty and truthfulness?

What Moms Want Dads to Know

Mom and Dad

Photo source: churchleadergazette.com

By Maureen Monfore, http://www.ChildwiseChat.com

A couple weeks ago, Hank blessed us with a blog post about what dads want moms to know. I figured I would offer dads the same courtesy, unlocking the mystery behind every mom’s (or wife’s) approach to marriage and parenting.

Sometimes we just want to complain

It’s common knowledge that women like to vent and men like to fix. If we vent to you about our day, don’t offer solutions. Just listen. Even throw in a few lines like “I can’t believe he did that,” or “That’s crazy; how in the world did you cope?” Show some sympathy and commiserate with us. For a few pointers on how to listen well, eavesdrop on our conversations with other women. It might sound like a foreign language to you, but jot a few lines down and you’ll be fine.

Don’t take our lack of affection personally

Yes, this is something many moms need to work on. But dads need to know that our occasional lack of desire for physical touch has nothing to do with you. Those of us at home all day with our kids get enough physical touch by the time you get home. Our kids climb on us, sit on our laps while reading, play with our hair, follow us to the bathroom, and even ask us to open the peanut butter jar while we’re in the shower. (I speak from experience.)

What can you do? Give us a few minutes to ourselves. Force us to take some time away; we might not always think we need it. But some well-deserved alone time will help us recharge our batteries. Call it room time for moms!

We need reminders if life gets a little too child-centered

Dads have a very different perspective on the world than we do. You get out in the world and have real adult conversations with real adults. When we’re at home with a two-year-old who’s in the throes of potty training or a four-year-old who complains about his boo-boos, we forget what that’s like.

We are all too aware of the dangers of child-centered parenting (thanks to the Ezzos), but knowing and doing are two different things. And rather than flat-out telling us, schedule some adult time for us. Hire a sitter. Call up some friends. Make dinner reservations. Get us out of the house!

We might get a little bossy sometimes

Face it, we moms boss our kids around. It’s as it should be. Our lives would be complete chaos if we didn’t. But sometimes, after doing it for 10-12 hours on end, we get in the habit of being bossy. If we’re working on first-time obedience training, we might even wait for a “yes, mommy” and eye contact when we call your name. (Not really, well, maybe.) A simple “snap out of it” should suffice if you recognize our bossy tone. Or turn on the humor, and reply with “yes, mommy.”

Encourage us to get some sleep

The parenting experts tell us to sleep when our baby sleeps. But how in the world would we get anything done?! Whether we’re up all night with a newborn or physically exhausted from a day chasing after toddlers, we need our sleep. And for many of us, a lack of sleep affects our mood and our patience.

So if you see that we’re up past midnight, tell us to go to bed. Or if you see that we’re physically exhausted, tell us to go rest in bed for an hour. If that doesn’t work (because not many of us want to waste 2 hours napping while there’s so much to do), tell us to have some room time.

By the same token, make sure you’re getting enough sleep. Nobody wants to deal with a tired, grumpy you.

Give some thought to your body and your health

If we’re going to stop being bossy, you can’t rely on us to tell you to eat your vegetables or to cut back on the cookies. This came up on a Babywise moms message board recently. We want you to care about your health. If you think something is wrong, go to the doctor. If the doctor tells you to cut back on your salt intake, drink more water, or to exercise more, listen to him (or her)! No mom wants to be a young widow. We are nothing without our health. Take it seriously.

On a related note, think about how you present yourselves to us. Yes, you are allowed to relax when you get home. But that image of you lounging on the couch in your sweats with a package of Oreos does nothing to improve our desire for physical touch. If you notice that we brushed our hair and put on a little lip gloss before you got home, think twice before putting on your pajamas at 6pm.

Limit your screen time

Yes, this is something we say to our kids. There’s a reason we don’t let them watch TV or play video games for hours on end. But we adults need to follow the same advice. Smartphones, TVs and computers have taken over our lives. If you wonder why you don’t feel connected to your family, think about turning off the TV or putting the phone away. Even if you do nothing beyond that, a little eye contact does wonders for the relationship.

And if your relationship with your kids is centered on screen time (whether you’re playing a video game together or they’re looking over your shoulder while you’re on your phone), that’s all the more reason to limit your screen time. Turn it off and go outside! Play catch with your son or teach your daughter how to ride a bike. Those are the things that memories are made of!

Help out

If you come home from work and the house is a mess, take that as your cue that you need to pitch in. If we seem stressed out about it, don’t ask us what needs to be done. That will only make us think—and stress—about it all. If the dishwasher is full, unload it. If hampers are overflowing, sort laundry. Or just grab a broom and start sweeping. Make this your motto: don’t ask; just do.

After you read this, chat with your wife about it. You may think that none of it applies to your family, but I bet at least a small portion does. If you are the one to bring it up, your wife will be honest with you. This is where it’s okay to ask. Open up those lines of communication and you’ll do wonders to improve your relationship with your wife and with your kids.

Live in Harmony with First-Time ObedienceMaureen Monfore is a mother of two young boys, a freelance writer, and the author of ChildwiseChat.com and the eBook, Live in Harmony with First-Time ObedienceA loyal follower of the teachings of Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo, she is passionate about teaching children to obey to pave the way for fun, love, learning, and essential moral development.

Babywise Friendly – Vegan Mint Chocolate Chip

Mint Chocolate Chip

NO! I have not gone vegan on you. I like the taste of most all animals I’ve tried and will continue to eat them. Regardless of the fact that this is a vegan dish, you have to admit that it does look good.

The post I am linking to over at Happy Healthy Mama is written by a food blogger who happens to be a Babywise fan. As part of the Babywise Networked-Blog week we all decided to give a little link love to a blogger who is a fan of Babywise, but does not necessarily bog about parenting. My blogging friend Valerie over at Chronicles of a Babywise Mom contacted Maryea over at Happy Healthy Mama and this is what she shared with us.

 

Date Your Children

Building relationships with your children requires an investment of time on your part as a parent. We also must be intentional about scheduling time with each child and making this time special to the child. Bethany over at The Graceful Mom tells us how she and her husband meet the relational needs of their children through dates.

Bethany’s post is part of the Babywise Networked-Blog week for July 2012. Members of this network of blogs include:

Valerie Plowman, Chronicles of a Babywise Mom 
Hank Osborne, Daddy Life
Maureen Monfore, Childwise Chat
Bethany Lynch, The Graceful Mom