Parents Responsible for Child Safety Online

June 13, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and other social media sites can be a dangerous environment for children. “In my opinion the parents hold ultimate responsibility for protecting their children from Internet threats.” That’s how I phrased it in a 2006 blog post in response to one of several law suites related to child safety online. A Texas judge’s ruling in one of these cases in 2007 agreed with my opinion.

U.S. District Judge Sam Sparks ruled Wednesday that MySpace, like other online forums, should not be held responsible for what happened. “If anyone had a duty to protect Julie Doe, it was her parents, not MySpace,” he wrote.

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/02/15/BUGEKO4VU01.DTL#ixzz1P7xeMMsu

Many parents including the ones on the other end of this law suite don’t agree with the ruling.  Many parents would like to hand over responsibility to others in dealing with the hard issues they face. There are plenty of arguments about how kids sneak around and some say it can’t be prevented. That is a very weak excuse for parents to do nothing and the law is not on your side if you are one of these parents.

I have been focusing my attention on this issue of child safety online for more than five years. I am a computer security expert with 15 years of experience in dealing with Internet, computer, and network security.  I have seen or heard of just about everything. And there are answers to the problems.

There are some great tools and web sites out there to help parents protect their children, but there are just as many if not more sites that teach kids how to circumvent the parent’s best efforts. I will help you detect if your child is trying to get around your Internet monitoring and security solutions.  That will lead you to the more basic parenting issues of dealing with your child’s character and trust relationships.

The computers and cells phone are just tools. It is important to remember that kids are using these tools to create and grow relationships in the same way many of us did in malls, movie theaters, skating rinks, on the cruising strip, or even in churches. Regardless of where a child meets a stranger, that child needs to have the built in ability to make good decisions when making new friends. There are no classes in your local public school to teach kids character and how to build healthy relationships.  Academics are the focus and that leaves no time for character training. There are some great resources to help parents learn how to get to the heart of their child so that the child will respect the parents advice and teachings in these areas. You will find some of these great resources in the Parenting section of my Book Recommendations page on HOEI.com.

Stay tuned to this blog for my upcoming articles aimed at Internet Safety. I will be educating you parents on the ways your tech savvy teens may be bypassing your best attempts to secure your computers and Internet connection. Then I will help you determine what to do next and how to do it.

Filed Under: Parenting, Safety, Technology Tagged With: , ,

Internet Safety Basics for Parents

June 9, 2011 By Leave a Comment

Like a lock, Internet filtering software is for honest people.

Providing good character training and a strong relationship with your child is the foundation of Internet safety in your family.  Your child needs to be able to recognize when he is exposed to something dangerous and he needs to trust you enough to be able to share concerns about what he faces.

It is never too late to begin character training, but the earlier the better.  You also need to model good character traits especially to your young child. Young children in particular learn more from what they see you do rather than what you say. Be careful to always tell the truth and follow rules that apply to you as you go through the day. Be sure to point out to your young child that you are obeying the rules that apply to you.  For instance you might ask your child if she knows why you did not park in the handicap spot and be ready to explain if she does not know the answer.

Building a strong relationship with your child is a long process. Trust and honesty needs to be modeled.  As your child gets older you will actually give your child opportunities to demonstrate trust to you.  You might tell your eight year old that you are going to allow him to get up and go into the living room to read in the morning if he normally wakes before everyone else.  If he sticks to reading as opposed to watching television or playing video games then he has demonstrated a level of trust to you.  One of the ways my wife and I model trust is to share access to all email and social networking accounts.  This practice has other benefits that I will share later, but it certainly serves as a model of trust between family members.

The bottom line is that all of the Internet filtering software and restrictions on when/how the Internet can be used will be a waste of time if your child is not honest and trustworthy.  There are too many ways around your rules and the technology filters if your child decides to go where they want against your wishes.  As previously stated, just like locks, Internet filters are for honest people.

Remember: Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Get more details on How To Train Your Child To Use The Internet Safely.

Filed Under: Parenting, Safety, Technology Tagged With: , , ,
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