Archives for October 2011

Podcast Episode 15 – Give Your Child the Freedom to Fail

The Fathers Mandate Part 4 of 8
From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

The Fathers Mandate Part 4 of 8
http://www.growingkids.org/leaders/gkgw-chapter-summaries/
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.

– Your children need to freedom to fail…in front of Dad.
– So many adults are haunted by the fact that they feel like they could never live up to -dad’s expectations.
– Achievement and relationships are areas that your child will experience failure
– Your job is to help them find the blessings

I have already covered the following:
1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.
2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.
3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

iPhone  or Droid for your children?

The iPhone has some pretty good security features to limit and control access. See security settings that I recommend on the iPhone, iPad, and iPod Touch.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

 

Podcast Episode 14 – Smart Phone Security Concerns

The Fathers Mandate Part 3 of 8
From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.

Public World – What people see and hear when you are out and about in a public setting. The things that can be seen by strangers on the street.
Personal World – The world where your closest friends and family commonly see and hear things you that are never shown in public.
Private World – This is on the inside. People have to be invited in to see what is in here.

Open window phenomenon – Its when your child invites you into their private world. It can come when walking or at bedtime. Be careful because you never know when the open window will come.

I have already covered the following:
1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.

Riley’s birthday trip

2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

iPhone 4s

Pretty much looks the same on the outside, but on the inside:
Duel processor promises to give better performance
Two Antennas for better reception
Upgraded Camera to 8 megapixels with improved optics including an added lense
Voice activated search and response from Siri

“The Defense IA Security Accreditation Working Group (DSAWG), which is the DoD approval body for Security Technical Implementation Guides (STIGs), determined that iOS devices should not be deployed in the DoD at this time due to unmitigated iOS device security risks. Therefore the DSAWG directed the draft iPhone/iPad STIG be removed from the IASE web site.” Source

Cellphones will become a way to attack otherwise protected devices: report

  1. Attached to USB for charging and data transfer – moving pictures from your phone to your PC or Mac
  2. They act just like Thumb drives Remember Stuxnet?  The attack on Iranian nuclear facilities.
  3. Small keyboard make fro more mistakes typing. How many times have you had to apologize for an auto correction done by your phone?
  4. Browsers are less sophisticated and do not give indications of insecure content.

Convenience comes at a price. The easier it is for the user to do the wrong thing, the easier it is for hackers slip into you phone and then into your network at home or in the office.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Podcast Episode 13 – GKGW Fathers Mandate 2 – Regularly Demonstrate Love to your Wife

The Fathers Mandate Part 2 of 8
Based on Chapter 4 from Growing Kids God’s Way 

1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity. (Review)

– Be proud of your family – as Mr Ezzo said be the cheer leader (We are the Osbornes and we…) Rise above the level of mediocrity!

I added a couple of blog posts this week. One related to Cub Scout activities this past weekend. Our oldest two boys got to shoot BB Guns, Bow and Arrows, and Sling Shots.

Make sure your activities are in line with your family goals and values. Do you have them written down? Are your goals Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, TRUTH based?
What education method makes your family unique: Public, private or home school?

2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.

Mr. Ezzo says, “If you really love your children then give them the gift of confidence and security. Show them how much you love their mom.”

In Episode 4 I talked about the importance of Dating and Couch Time.

In Episode 7 I talked about the need for dads to take your wife out of her role as a mom and put her back in her role as a wife. To do this you need to elarn your wife’s love language. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman 

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.
12 minutes
4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

Microsoft Intelligence Report

The PDF report can be found in the download section ont he right side of the page.

An in-depth perspective on software vulnerabilities and exploits, malicious code threats, and potentially unwanted software in the first half of 2011.

45% – User Interaction Required
26% – Autorun of USB or network files

What you can do.

  1. Be smart.
  2. Implement strong passwords and Patch your systems. There are patches for your OS, Browsers (IE, FireFox, Safari, Chrome) Aplciaitons (Adobe flash, reader, etc), iTunes, Qiucktime, MS Office.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

 

BB Guns, Sling Shots, and a Red Mustang

Caden and Daddy on the Archery Range

Photo taken by Riley Osborne

The weekend was so much fun. I enjoyed it almost as much as the boys. Riley and Caden learned how to shoot good old fashion Daisy BB guns, bow and arrows, and sling shots (wrist rockets) loaded with dog food. Our local Boy Scout district group puts on a an event called the Cub Scout Tiger Safari each year in the fall. This event allows new Cub Scouts Caden to experience some really cool activities that they would otherwise have to wait until next summer when offered at the day and resident camps. Things like BB Gun and Archery can only be offered at district and regional level events for safety reasons.

The belt loops and pins that the kids earn are the big prize. Belt loops are awards for elective sports and academic activities that have specific criteria in order to earn. Since the BB guns are only offered a couple of times per year at district or regional events it is an extra special treat for a Cub Scout to earn the BB gun and Archery belt loops. Going into this weekend Riley had earned nearly a dozen belt loops already for chess, computers, foreign language, fishing, swimming, flag football, and more. He was allowed to attend this Tiger specific event as a participating sibling.

The Tiger Safari was held at Camp Moultrie just North of Moncks Corner, SC. This is a Boy Scouts of America camping area located on the shore of Lake Moultrie right next to the Navy recreation center called Short Stay. It is about a 45 minute drive from our house in Goose Creek, SC.

Josiah and Levi in the Toy Red MustangOnce we arrive back home we spent a good portion of the afternoon playing outside. Josiah took Levi for a ride int he little red convertible muscle car. The boys love to run this miniature version of a Ford Mustang around in circles in the cul de sacin front of our house. It was  an action packed day that left a smile on every child’s face.

 

 

 

Here are more pictures from our day:

Riley with the sling shot.

Sling Shot

Caden on the BB Gun Range.

Caden shooting a Daisy BB Gun at Cub Scout CampCaden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket.

Caden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket

Riley shooting a BB gun.

Riley with the Daisy BB Gun

Being a Home School Family

Using home school to educate our children is another thing that makes our family unique. Homeschoooling adds to our family identity. Certainly homeschooling is not for every family, but what ever your education method, that adds to your family identity. Dads, you should be very active and intentional in choosing how your children will be educated. Don’t take the public school education program blindly without understanding if it is the right choice for EACH of your children. One child may be better servered by a private school. Another child within the same family may be better served by public education or home school.

Sherry and I are passionate about home school education. We enjoy helping families through their review of education choices. Sherry is a former 3rd grade public school teacher and now she has several years of homeschool teaching under her belt. This is another subject that we approach carefully and prayerfully. We encourage you to do the same. To help you decide if homeschooling is right for your family we have a new resource. If you choose homeschooling we will lead you through the mounds of choices with curriculum, resources, books, co-ops, and more. Our new online support group web site launched this week is called the Home School Support Network. The site is a Blog and Podcast for now. Eventually we will be adding video and possibly even a member area. The first episode of the podcast was just released this week. We are waiting on the iTunes review process to complete, but in the meantime you can get the introductory podcast episode via the HSSN RSS feed.

Podcast Episode 12 – GKGW Fathers Mandate 1 – Cultivate a Sense of Family Idenity

Part 1 of an 8 part series on how I implement the Fathers Mandate from chapter 4 of the Growing Kids God’s Way (GKGW) parenting series by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. This episode provides a short click from GKGW session four where Mr. Ezzo introduces the first mandate.

CNN Opinion article Why Men are in Trouble by William J Bennett
“Today, 18-to- 34-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than 12-to- 17-year-old boys.” via Shawn Wood

Courageous Movie opened Friday September 30th. This awesome movie is a great challenge for dayd, Courageous came in number one in the box office for new releases last weekend.

Parenting and Relationships

The Father’s Mandate – How I cultivate a sense of family identity.

  • Special family activities Gingerbread train
  • Other cooking activities like 4 year old biscuits
  • Let them help you with tasks around the house even if it slows you down
  • Create memories with special activities and trips (NC apple picking, family camping, fishing, geocaching)
  • Be the spiritual leader by praying and leading devotionals with the family – As kids get older let them lead portions of the devotional time
  • Take your child shopping or on errands
  • Be proud of your family – as Mr Ezzo said be the cheer leader (We are the Osbornes and we…) Rise above the level of mediocrity!
  • Holidays (we work very hard to tell our kids the truth. We do not lie about Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny.) Read about how Halloween is different in our family.

Tech Time

Facebook Share “feature”

My friend, we will call him John, shares a photo on his wall. He shared it via the “share” button from his friend Sue who shared it from her “Wall Photos” album. I am only friends with John and I am not friends with Sue on Facebook. BUT, now that my friend John has shared a photo from Sue, I can not click on that photo and then cycle through all of the Wall photos that Sue has ever shared….and get this…I can even comment on those photos. Sue does not know me and I do not know Sue but here I am leaving comments on Sue’s wall.

The reverse is true. Based on the default settings in Facebook…Once you share a photo it can be shared by any one of your friends and their friends can then share it and so on and so forth. And all of the friends of all of the people who have shared the photo now have access to view and write comments on ALL of the photos in the album that contains the one photo that your friend shared.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Halloween is Optional

Stop before you go blowing a bunch of money on Halloween candy or costumes. Halloween can be skipped with absolutely no ill affects. As a matter of fact, as parents, you can use this holiday as a teaching opportunity and build on your family identity in the process.

But everyone else is doing it. We have always done it this way. Yes, there is an overwhelming urge even as adults to do things just because other people are doing it or because these things are just things that we have always done.  We don’t want to be the weird one in the bunch. We don’t want to have people make fun of us. We just want to have a little fun. These are all very common response when I ask why people participate in halloween activities. The truth is that not everyone is doing it and you should not feel guilty if you choose not to do Halloween.

Halloween provides an excellent opportunity for parents to build on family identity. If you are not certain why you participate in Halloween activities other than “just to have fun” or “because it is what we have always done” then you might consider letting the October 31st pass by in your house as if it were any other day of the year. We have done this for several years now and have seen no negative affects.

Why pick on Halloween? Why use this holiday as teachable moment or as a way to set your family apart from other families? For our family it is a personal conviction that stems from our faith in God. I first wrote about this five years ago and received some very positive feedback and encouragment from readers of my personal blog The Land of Ozz. Here is an excerpt from that original blog post titled Halloween – Should Christians Participate?:

A few days ago I was involved in a conversation where someone said that “everyone needs a spooky computer background for Halloween.” I simply said, “I don’t do Halloween”. The response of another person was, “to each his own” in a gruff and grumpy sort of way. The amount of truth from that comment is staggering even though it was delivered to me with a very disapproving tone. For the purposes of this article I will define this phrase “to each his own” as a person’s right to choose.

I have already made the choice for my family based on prayer, research, and discussions with my best friend (my wife). We no longer buy or make costumes, attend festivals, go trick or treating, and we do not give out candy. We just plain avoid the whole thing all together. It has actually been a pretty simple deal once we committed to the decision.

Not all Christians share our convictions on this subject. As a matter of fact I would guess that a majority of Christians disagree with our response to Halloween. As you can see above I have wrote in much more detail about what line of thinking originally brought us to a decision to stop participating in Halloween. I encourage you to read more of my thoughts on the subject if you are looking for encouragement to stop participating in Halloween. Not everyone is participating and you should not feel obligated to do so with your family. And this is not just a narrow minded Christian view point either. Many people of other faiths understand the roots of this holiday and choose not to participate. Here are a few other blog posts from years past on this subject:

Halloween and Christian Families
Halloween II – Why Christians Should not Celebrate

As parents we can be different and should be different. We should strive to be the best parents that we can be and not settle for “at least as good as Fill in the Blank“. Doing thing like everyone else will result in raising kids just like everyone else.

What will you do to help your family stand out as unique? How will you rise above mediocrity as a family? Are you considering a change to your response to Halloween?

 

Why Cub Scouts?

Cub Scout RileyI was asked by a reader to write about Cub Scouts. As a fairly protective homeschooling family we take very serious our evaluation of extracurricular activies. Last year our oldest son Riley became a Cub Scout. Sherry and I had discussed putting our kids in Awana, Royal Rangers, or Cub Scouts but had not done all the leg work to investigate each organization. One day last fall we were on our way out of the local home improvement store and were met by a group of Cub Scouts selling popcorn by the exit. We purchased some popcorn and went on to the car. Then I asked my wife if she minded if I take a few minutes to ask about how to join and what ages the organization served. I took Riley (7 at the time) with me. The Cub Scout den leader that greeted us was very helpful and invited us to join a meeting at the local church to check it out. This allowed us to check out the meetings to see if the Cub Scouts would be a good fit for our family before purchasing a uniform and paying the registration fees. This process was a great help in making our final determination on whether to allow Riley to join or not.

What are Cub Scouts

Cub Scouts are the division of the Boy Scouts of America that supports 1st-5th grade boys. Cub Scouts work through fun and adventure to develop good habits in character development, faith in God, citizenship, sportsmanship and physical fitness, relationships, personal achievement, and community service.  All of these activities help prepare them for Boy Scouts.

Do Cub Scouts fit a Christian Homeschool Family?

Cub Scouts augment homeschooling for our family. We looked at Awana, Royal Rangers, and Royal ambassadors. However most of these programs are run as outreach rather than based on discipleship regardless of the way the material was intended to be used. We already have a solid Biblical teaching built into the homeschooling curriculum so Cub Scouts offered more of a balanced skill development model that helped develop life skills in areas that we may not normally give as much attention.

Why not team sports?

I will be brief on this one because this subject deserves way more attention in a future post. The short answer is that in my opinion and based on observations of other families team sports tend to consume way more time than Cub Scouts. Cub Scouts work well with our family to build family identity and encourage parental involvement. At the entry level of Cub Scouts which is called Tiger Cubs (1st graders) a parent or adult partner is required to attend all events with the scout.

Another advantage to Cub Scouts

Protecting the innocence of our children is a high priority. We tend to guard our children from inappropriate worldly influences as much as possible, especially with the younger children. We like to expose our children to the worldly influences on our terms and based on timing that more closely aligns with each child’s moral maturity and the context of their past exposure. Taking active roles in group activities were we can gauge influences and make determinations on when to have follow up conversations is important to us. We also never remove the option of taking our kids out of a program or activity if necessary. Even within Christian circles we do not assume that teachers and leaders have the same level of conviction for protecting the innocence of children.

In the end we decided to allow Riley to join Cub Scouts. This year we have alos allowed Caden to become a Cub Scout. This is Caden’s first opportunity to step out and join in activities witha group of his peers outside of our immediate family. This is a big step for Caden and our family given how guarded we have had to be with his immune system deficiencies earlier in life and his ongoing unique medical challenges.

We constantly evaluate whether the Cub Scout program is supporting and growing our family values or working in opposition. I encourage parents to evaluate all extracurricular activities against your family’s goals and values.

One last note about Cub Scouts in particular. Not all Cub Scout packs and dens are equal. Do not hesitate to move your child to another pack if the one you initially join is inactive, or disorganized. I would also not think twice about moving to another pack or den if the leaders and parents are allowing inappropriate behaviors.