Internet Safety Basics for Parents

Like a lock, Internet filtering software is for honest people.

Providing good character training and a strong relationship with your child is the foundation of Internet safety in your family.  Your child needs to be able to recognize when he is exposed to something dangerous and he needs to trust you enough to be able to share concerns about what he faces.

It is never too late to begin character training, but the earlier the better.  You also need to model good character traits especially to your young child. Young children in particular learn more from what they see you do rather than what you say. Be careful to always tell the truth and follow rules that apply to you as you go through the day. Be sure to point out to your young child that you are obeying the rules that apply to you.  For instance you might ask your child if she knows why you did not park in the handicap spot and be ready to explain if she does not know the answer.

Building a strong relationship with your child is a long process. Trust and honesty needs to be modeled.  As your child gets older you will actually give your child opportunities to demonstrate trust to you.  You might tell your eight year old that you are going to allow him to get up and go into the living room to read in the morning if he normally wakes before everyone else.  If he sticks to reading as opposed to watching television or playing video games then he has demonstrated a level of trust to you.  One of the ways my wife and I model trust is to share access to all email and social networking accounts.  This practice has other benefits that I will share later, but it certainly serves as a model of trust between family members.

The bottom line is that all of the Internet filtering software and restrictions on when/how the Internet can be used will be a waste of time if your child is not honest and trustworthy.  There are too many ways around your rules and the technology filters if your child decides to go where they want against your wishes.  As previously stated, just like locks, Internet filters are for honest people.

Remember: Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Get more details on How To Train Your Child To Use The Internet Safely.

Creative Parenting: Lie to your kids?

Lying is exactly what the Ad Council suggests parents do to motivate kids. The Ad Council is playing public service announcements to educate parents on “creative” ways to help their kids eat healthier and stay active. The pubic service announcements are created in partnership with the US Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the US Department of Agriculture (USDA). All of this is intended to support the First Lady’s Let’s Move campaign.

One of the Ad Council radio ads is titled Silly Kids.  The actress in the ad does not admit to lying to the children about vegetables, but there is certainly enough information to suggest that they recommend that parents lie to kids to get them to eat vegetables. Why couldn’t the ad council simply stick to truth?  One truly creative way to encourage kids to eat vegetables is for parents to involve kids in growing their own vegetables.  Our oldest son Riley willingly ate his first onion when he planted, watered, and harvested the onion himself.  Our little garden only takes up a section of the yard 8 feet wide by 8 feet long.

Check out this 30 second Ad Council video titled Wallet.  The audio plays on the radio in our local market. This video takes away all doubt about whether the Ad Council is actually advocating that parents lie to their kids.

The bottom line is that lying should never be used to parent your kids. Lying damages the trust in the relationship between the parent and the child.  Trust is priceless as your children get older.  Parents should strive to build and maintain trust. Your children will more likely to  trust your advice and turn to you for help when they face increasing complicated situations in their life related to drugs, sex, and alcohol.  Your knowledge, experience, and wisdom will serve your children much better than anything you have to offer. Tell you kids the truth and give your kids the gift of a strong trusting relationship.

Do Child Safety Seats Expire?

Some manufacturers and car seat technicians say that car seats do expire. But the facts are few and far between on this subject.

A few years ago we went through the same task of rearranging car seats for our kids. Riley moved into a booster and Josiah had out grown the infant car seat (carrier). We had a fairly nice Britax that we got when Riley was less than a year old. It was in good condition and had never been in a vehicle when an accident occurred. The seat was nearly six years old and I was wondering whether or not the seat was still usable despite its appearance. I had heard that car seats expire. Is this a true statement?

I probably would not have even given this a thought but rather let common sense dictate whether or not to replace a car seat. But, sometime during the previous spring we had a fire rescue team at our church one Sunday afternoon doing inspections on the installation of our car seats for anyone who wanted to participate. Ours were all installed and being used correctly, but the technician did give me a little feedback that I found interesting. One of the things he told me was that Riley’s Britax seat was expired. “DO WHAT?,” was my reply. This guy proceeded to tell me that car seats expire after five years. Don’t get me wrong. I get the concept. These things are made of mostly plastic and plastics can become weak when it gets pushed and pulled on enough. The belts can become weak when they get enough acidic spit up, juices, and other foreign substances on them over the years. All that said, you would think that the manufacture would have this plastered all over the boxes that these things come in. After all, that would equate to a fresh sell ever five years and more revenue for their companies. Anyway, I heard what the guy said and went on about my business since this he did not give me a reference for his data. Even though I did get the concept, how can you you pick a number and say that in X number of years a car seat will expire? In my opinion you can’t because there are too many variables to consider.

Here are some facts about car seat expiration. There are currently no federal laws requiring that child safety seats have an expiration date. I have also found no state laws referring specifically to expiration dates. If you find that a seat has an expiration on it, you are not likely to get put into jail for using it past its expiration date, but you should certainly contact the manufacture to make sure you understand why they put that date on the seat.

Yes, some seats have expiration dates on them? Why? The explanations vary. Maybe the seat nmaufactures are trying to ride the wave of fear created by the technicians who tell us that the seats to expire. Many “convertible” car seats are sold touting that they can be used for 5-35 lbs rear facing and from 20-50 lbs forward facing. Those seats would need to be replaced before one child outgrew them if they were to expire in five or six years. For instance, the average boy will reach 20 lbs between 8-9 months of age based on the CDC Clinical Growth Charts that most of our pediatricians use. That same average boy will reach 50 lbs at about 7 years of age. That means that the average male child would be required to get a new seat before reaching the maximum allowed weight for most convertible seats simply due to an expiration.

Some Child Passenger Safety Technicians claim to have been taught that seats expire after five or six years depending on who trained them.  One organization that offers certification classes for Child Passenger Safety Technicians says, “Make sure the safety seat is less than 10 years old (preferably less than five), the expiration date stamped on the plastic has not passed, and it has never been used in a crash.” Reference

The bottom line is that opinions rather than facts seem to be driving the five, six, or ten year expiration date. The expiration age varies depending on who you talk to. 

Honey-Do – Involve Your Kids

Projects around the house and trips to the local home improvement store provide great opportunities to spend time with your kids while getting working done on that all important Honey-Do list. Bringing small kids into projects can slow things down a little bit, but the time spent together is well worth the additional time taken to complete a project.

As an example my raised garden was overrun by roots from a nearby sweet gum tree last year.  The only way to rid myself of the roots before this year’s gardening season was to remove all the dirt (and roots) and then put a plastic liner in the raised bed before replacing the dirty. My three oldest boys were more than willing to help remove the roots from this 64 cubic foot pile of dirt.  They spent most of the day with daddy while getting to make as big of a mess as their little hearts desired.

JJ and Caden shoveling dirt

JJ and Caden Shoveling Dirt

This post is participating in Fatherhood Friday on Dad Exchange.

On Modesty

A while back Michael Hyatt posted some observations on the lack of modesty in the world today.  Mrs Ozz and I took Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo’s Reflections of Moral Innocence class a few years ago that helped us gain a perspective on how to lead our children down a pure path.  And yes we have all boys and they need to be taught about modesty too.  Now we teach the Reflections of Moral Innocence classes in our home as a follow on to Growing Kids God’s Way so we can help educate other parents on modesty and sex education.

What are the benefits of teaching parents about modesty and sex education?

  • No one can do the job better than properly trained parents, for they are the only ones who have the right to determine what value system is placed into the hearts of their children.
  • By training parents it puts the responsibility for this education back where it belongs.
  • It reduces moral intrusion into the family structure since the value system of the family is not violated by a secular interest.
  • It avoids forcing the institutional morality on family and child such as is represented in various public pro-homosexual curriculums.
  • It can be done under the best conditions since parents pick the time and place for its implementation, rather than resorting to a group classroom setting.
  • It is more cost effective. As pointed out by Josh McDowell in The Myth of Sex Education, the more money spent per capita on sex education of children the higher the percentage of sexual activity. Expensive public programs are not effective.

Dads – Stay Home or Work Outside the Home

The stay home dads seem to be well represented and encouraged on the Internet. A fairly large percentage of the more popular dad blogs that I read seem to be written by dads who stay home. There seems to be a deficit of encouragement specifically for dads who work outside the home.  Even harder to find is encouragement in blogs for dads who work outside the home while mom stays home.

This blog will help fill in that gap. We will provide encouragement for all dads in terms of parenting tips, finances, family fun, marriage, but will provide an extra dose of encouragement for dads who work outside the home.  To take things a step further we will help encourage dads who desire to be the sole bread winners of their families so that mom can be provided the best opportunity to stay home with the children. There are few things more discouraging for a young couple than having a desire to allow mom to stay home but being stuck in circumstances that just will not allow for this to happen.  Allowing mom the opportunity to stay home is a great goal and there is hope to make it happen.

My wife and I both graduated college and entered the workforce as a two-income household. We originally (before children) planned on her going back to work after maternity leave.  Our plans changed and we are glad they did. But we were not prepared for the change in plans…especially from a financial perspective. As this blog unfolds I will share some of our challenges in transitioning from a two-income household to a single income household.