Why do we do Santa?

Tonight we visited a local Christian radio station (WKCL) with the Caden’s Tiger Den from the Cub Scout pack. It was a Go-See-It event that helps the Tigers earn the next rank in scouts. While there we learned all about mass communications. But it was a minor conversation that created the most excitement for our family. One of the scout leaders asked if the kids were ready for Santa. And then it happened. Our little four-year-old Josiah stepped up to educate the leader on the truth about Santa in the midst of a room full of 1st graders and their siblings. Sherry was able to stop him before he spilled the beans and sent a room full of kids out of the building crying. I was left once again asking myself why we parents feel so compelled to do Santa?

Maybe because we are immersed in Santa Claus. We are surrounded by Santa no matter where we go these days. Santa is in parades, sitting in the malls, standing on the street corner, popping in at various Christmas parties, inflated standing fifteen feet tall on the neighbor’s lawn, and zooming across the weatherman’s radar screen delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.

Parents go to great lengths to explain this mysterious man to their children. Children are told to be good so that Santa will bring them lots of stuff in return for their good behavior. They are told how Santa will come down the chimney and leave presents under the Christmas tree after the children are asleep on Christmas Eve. Then the children start to grow and learn how difficult it would be for one fat man in a red suite to visit billions of homes in one night. The parents then more often than not become more creative in their explanation of how Santa gets things done. Some children like those who live in mobile homes start to wonder how Santa will get into their house since their home has no chimney. This was a big issue in my home as a child. The parents then may hang an old skeleton key outside and tell the children that this is for Santa.

All of these things are done in fun and with the best of intentions. Parents and children alike enjoy these times. Then one day a child comes home with that question, “Is Santa Claus real? Susie told me that Santa’s not real.” Some parents come clean at that point while others find a way to extend the fun for just one or two more years by further exaggerating the story.

What’s wrong with having a little fun with your children at Christmas time by pretending there is a Santa? It’s just innocent fun, right? My wife and I felt that it was okay for the first two years that we celebrated Christmas as parents. Then my wife came home one night about a month before Christmas from her book club meeting and said, “I am not sure how you feel about this, but I would like for us to reconsider how we celebrate Christmas.” Man what a relief it was for me. I was playing the Santa game to keep my wife happy. So the conversation was not as long and complicated as Sherry thought it might become.

That year we asked our family members not to make such a big deal over Santa. And we have not turned back. We are still often faced with the situations like the one we faced tonight, but we have not regretted the decision one bit.

There’s no way to avoid these types of situations like tonight, but what you have planted in your child’s heart will eventually shine through. My oldest son at a tender age of three was responding frequently with, “we celebrate Jesus’ birthday for Christmas at our house.” You would be absolutely amazed at the smiles that response brings to so many adults. You see, we are not teaching our children that Santa is bad or wrong, but rather we are teaching our children that Christmas is a day when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Okay I know Jesus may have not been born in December, but Christmas in the Spring would jam it up against Easter. We give gifts to others to show our love for them. I personally try to make sure that the spirit of giving is similar to the spirit of giving God showed when sending Jesus. That gift of Jesus was not based on how good or bad we were, but was giving as an unconditional love gift from our heavenly father.

Oddly enough I have found some of the most frank responses to how so many people(Christians included) do Santa on the Atheism section of About.com. The article is titled Santa Claus: Should Parents Perpetuate the Santa Claus Myth? and it is packed full of great explanations on why, in my opinion, the “little white lie” is not a healthy practice. By the way, it should be obvious from my previous paragraph that I do not endorse the anti-Christian atheist aspects of the About.com page linked above.

Update: A very wise mommy (Erika Shupe) has shared her advice on What to do with Santa over at Large Families on Purpose.

Do you do Santa? What are the reasons behind your decision?

Reason for the Season

Sherry and I recorded a new episode of the HSSN Podcast this week. Sherry shared some great resources to help teach your kids the true meaning of Christmas. These resources are valuable regardless of whether you are a parent of a kid in public, private or home school. Check out the post and podcast over at the Home School Support Network.

Dads: HUG YOUR KIDS!

The Fathers Mandate Part 7 of 8

From Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

Feedback: Andy from Better Dad Podcast says thanks!

Mandate number 7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.

Sherry and I meet in a hugging community. We meet through Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society. Some folks shake hands, but PTK members HUG!

Mom’s touch provides kids with a feeling of comfort and love. Dad’s hugs

Mr. Ezzo warns that if parents, especially dads, don’t embrace their kids, they will eventually seek it from someone else. And they will find the affection they want and you will likely not like it.

Don’t let you daughter’s preadolescence physical changes cause you to treat her any different. She is the same person on the inside. She needs to know her dad loves her as she goes through these changes.

Hug your kids!

Tech Time

Which anti-virus should you use on your Android phone?

Facebook social engineering.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Tent Camping with Kids

A little camper asleep on daddy's shouldersA few weeks ago I took Riley, Caden, and JJ camping. Well I started out on Friday night with Riley and Caden. They are the two Cub Scouts in the family. By Saturday afternoon Caden had experienced enough of the outdoors for one weekend and wanted to go home. Keep in mind that the camping trip took place exactly four weeks after Caden had back surgery and this kids is on oxygen at night. So we have to give him extra credit for sleeping in a tent even one night with temperatures in the low 40s.

Sherry had come out on Saturday with Josiah (JJ) and Levi so they could see Caden and Riley race in the Rain Gutter Regatta and receive some awards. Riley ended up winning the Raingutter Regatta against all scouts of all ages in all dens in the entire pack. He went undefeated for the weekend. We thought it was the boat design (with help form your truely) until Riley traded boats with another boy and beat him with his own boat. As you can see in the picture of Caden below it is a fairly low tech race so Riley must just have figured something out that no one else could. It is not like he was coached on how to best blow through the straw. The sails barely got hot glued on his an Caden’s boats just minutes before leaving the house on that Friday afternoon. So if you are here looking for the secret design of a Cub Scout Rain Gutter Regatta boat, it does not exist. The speed on Raingutter Regatta is all in the technique in my opinion and you kid either gets it or they don’t.

Josiah was itching to stay the night on Saturday after the boat races even though he nearly fell asleep on my shoulders.  The boys were all exhausted and Caden wanted to go home. Caden had begun to run a fever and was showing signs of needing oxygen earlier in the evening than normal.  Sherry and I swapped out Caden and JJ for the night Caden went home with mom and Levi to sleep in his own bed. As a result three out of four boys got to tent camp with daddy in one weekend.

Caden Racing in the Cub Scout Pack 458 Rain Gutter RegattaWhat I learned about camping with little boys Riley (9), Caden (7), and JJ (4) is that flexibility is absolutely necessary, required, and is a non-negotiable.

I had to bring along some O2 tanks, a suction machine, and a feeding pump for Caden, but we do that everywhere we go anyway as a result of his medical special needs. That’s part of our family identity right along with tent camping with daddy. We don’t make a big fuss about it and no one else does either.

The thing is that you don’t want to ruin these experiences like tent camping for these little guys. You want them to have fun. You want to create memories and build lasting relationships. That was exactly the result we got. All of them are chomping at the bit to go camping again. Mission accomplished!

What have been some of your experiences tent camping with little kids?

Podcast Episode 14 – Smart Phone Security Concerns

The Fathers Mandate Part 3 of 8
From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.

Public World – What people see and hear when you are out and about in a public setting. The things that can be seen by strangers on the street.
Personal World – The world where your closest friends and family commonly see and hear things you that are never shown in public.
Private World – This is on the inside. People have to be invited in to see what is in here.

Open window phenomenon – Its when your child invites you into their private world. It can come when walking or at bedtime. Be careful because you never know when the open window will come.

I have already covered the following:
1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.

Riley’s birthday trip

2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

iPhone 4s

Pretty much looks the same on the outside, but on the inside:
Duel processor promises to give better performance
Two Antennas for better reception
Upgraded Camera to 8 megapixels with improved optics including an added lense
Voice activated search and response from Siri

“The Defense IA Security Accreditation Working Group (DSAWG), which is the DoD approval body for Security Technical Implementation Guides (STIGs), determined that iOS devices should not be deployed in the DoD at this time due to unmitigated iOS device security risks. Therefore the DSAWG directed the draft iPhone/iPad STIG be removed from the IASE web site.” Source

Cellphones will become a way to attack otherwise protected devices: report

  1. Attached to USB for charging and data transfer – moving pictures from your phone to your PC or Mac
  2. They act just like Thumb drives Remember Stuxnet?  The attack on Iranian nuclear facilities.
  3. Small keyboard make fro more mistakes typing. How many times have you had to apologize for an auto correction done by your phone?
  4. Browsers are less sophisticated and do not give indications of insecure content.

Convenience comes at a price. The easier it is for the user to do the wrong thing, the easier it is for hackers slip into you phone and then into your network at home or in the office.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Podcast Episode 13 – GKGW Fathers Mandate 2 – Regularly Demonstrate Love to your Wife

The Fathers Mandate Part 2 of 8
Based on Chapter 4 from Growing Kids God’s Way 

1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity. (Review)

– Be proud of your family – as Mr Ezzo said be the cheer leader (We are the Osbornes and we…) Rise above the level of mediocrity!

I added a couple of blog posts this week. One related to Cub Scout activities this past weekend. Our oldest two boys got to shoot BB Guns, Bow and Arrows, and Sling Shots.

Make sure your activities are in line with your family goals and values. Do you have them written down? Are your goals Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, TRUTH based?
What education method makes your family unique: Public, private or home school?

2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.

Mr. Ezzo says, “If you really love your children then give them the gift of confidence and security. Show them how much you love their mom.”

In Episode 4 I talked about the importance of Dating and Couch Time.

In Episode 7 I talked about the need for dads to take your wife out of her role as a mom and put her back in her role as a wife. To do this you need to elarn your wife’s love language. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman 

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.
12 minutes
4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

Microsoft Intelligence Report

The PDF report can be found in the download section ont he right side of the page.

An in-depth perspective on software vulnerabilities and exploits, malicious code threats, and potentially unwanted software in the first half of 2011.

45% – User Interaction Required
26% – Autorun of USB or network files

What you can do.

  1. Be smart.
  2. Implement strong passwords and Patch your systems. There are patches for your OS, Browsers (IE, FireFox, Safari, Chrome) Aplciaitons (Adobe flash, reader, etc), iTunes, Qiucktime, MS Office.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

 

BB Guns, Sling Shots, and a Red Mustang

Caden and Daddy on the Archery Range

Photo taken by Riley Osborne

The weekend was so much fun. I enjoyed it almost as much as the boys. Riley and Caden learned how to shoot good old fashion Daisy BB guns, bow and arrows, and sling shots (wrist rockets) loaded with dog food. Our local Boy Scout district group puts on a an event called the Cub Scout Tiger Safari each year in the fall. This event allows new Cub Scouts Caden to experience some really cool activities that they would otherwise have to wait until next summer when offered at the day and resident camps. Things like BB Gun and Archery can only be offered at district and regional level events for safety reasons.

The belt loops and pins that the kids earn are the big prize. Belt loops are awards for elective sports and academic activities that have specific criteria in order to earn. Since the BB guns are only offered a couple of times per year at district or regional events it is an extra special treat for a Cub Scout to earn the BB gun and Archery belt loops. Going into this weekend Riley had earned nearly a dozen belt loops already for chess, computers, foreign language, fishing, swimming, flag football, and more. He was allowed to attend this Tiger specific event as a participating sibling.

The Tiger Safari was held at Camp Moultrie just North of Moncks Corner, SC. This is a Boy Scouts of America camping area located on the shore of Lake Moultrie right next to the Navy recreation center called Short Stay. It is about a 45 minute drive from our house in Goose Creek, SC.

Josiah and Levi in the Toy Red MustangOnce we arrive back home we spent a good portion of the afternoon playing outside. Josiah took Levi for a ride int he little red convertible muscle car. The boys love to run this miniature version of a Ford Mustang around in circles in the cul de sacin front of our house. It was  an action packed day that left a smile on every child’s face.

 

 

 

Here are more pictures from our day:

Riley with the sling shot.

Sling Shot

Caden on the BB Gun Range.

Caden shooting a Daisy BB Gun at Cub Scout CampCaden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket.

Caden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket

Riley shooting a BB gun.

Riley with the Daisy BB Gun

Being a Home School Family

Using home school to educate our children is another thing that makes our family unique. Homeschoooling adds to our family identity. Certainly homeschooling is not for every family, but what ever your education method, that adds to your family identity. Dads, you should be very active and intentional in choosing how your children will be educated. Don’t take the public school education program blindly without understanding if it is the right choice for EACH of your children. One child may be better servered by a private school. Another child within the same family may be better served by public education or home school.

Sherry and I are passionate about home school education. We enjoy helping families through their review of education choices. Sherry is a former 3rd grade public school teacher and now she has several years of homeschool teaching under her belt. This is another subject that we approach carefully and prayerfully. We encourage you to do the same. To help you decide if homeschooling is right for your family we have a new resource. If you choose homeschooling we will lead you through the mounds of choices with curriculum, resources, books, co-ops, and more. Our new online support group web site launched this week is called the Home School Support Network. The site is a Blog and Podcast for now. Eventually we will be adding video and possibly even a member area. The first episode of the podcast was just released this week. We are waiting on the iTunes review process to complete, but in the meantime you can get the introductory podcast episode via the HSSN RSS feed.

Podcast Episode 12 – GKGW Fathers Mandate 1 – Cultivate a Sense of Family Idenity

Part 1 of an 8 part series on how I implement the Fathers Mandate from chapter 4 of the Growing Kids God’s Way (GKGW) parenting series by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. This episode provides a short click from GKGW session four where Mr. Ezzo introduces the first mandate.

CNN Opinion article Why Men are in Trouble by William J Bennett
“Today, 18-to- 34-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than 12-to- 17-year-old boys.” via Shawn Wood

Courageous Movie opened Friday September 30th. This awesome movie is a great challenge for dayd, Courageous came in number one in the box office for new releases last weekend.

Parenting and Relationships

The Father’s Mandate – How I cultivate a sense of family identity.

  • Special family activities Gingerbread train
  • Other cooking activities like 4 year old biscuits
  • Let them help you with tasks around the house even if it slows you down
  • Create memories with special activities and trips (NC apple picking, family camping, fishing, geocaching)
  • Be the spiritual leader by praying and leading devotionals with the family – As kids get older let them lead portions of the devotional time
  • Take your child shopping or on errands
  • Be proud of your family – as Mr Ezzo said be the cheer leader (We are the Osbornes and we…) Rise above the level of mediocrity!
  • Holidays (we work very hard to tell our kids the truth. We do not lie about Santa, the tooth fairy, or the Easter bunny.) Read about how Halloween is different in our family.

Tech Time

Facebook Share “feature”

My friend, we will call him John, shares a photo on his wall. He shared it via the “share” button from his friend Sue who shared it from her “Wall Photos” album. I am only friends with John and I am not friends with Sue on Facebook. BUT, now that my friend John has shared a photo from Sue, I can not click on that photo and then cycle through all of the Wall photos that Sue has ever shared….and get this…I can even comment on those photos. Sue does not know me and I do not know Sue but here I am leaving comments on Sue’s wall.

The reverse is true. Based on the default settings in Facebook…Once you share a photo it can be shared by any one of your friends and their friends can then share it and so on and so forth. And all of the friends of all of the people who have shared the photo now have access to view and write comments on ALL of the photos in the album that contains the one photo that your friend shared.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Why Cub Scouts?

Cub Scout RileyI was asked by a reader to write about Cub Scouts. As a fairly protective homeschooling family we take very serious our evaluation of extracurricular activies. Last year our oldest son Riley became a Cub Scout. Sherry and I had discussed putting our kids in Awana, Royal Rangers, or Cub Scouts but had not done all the leg work to investigate each organization. One day last fall we were on our way out of the local home improvement store and were met by a group of Cub Scouts selling popcorn by the exit. We purchased some popcorn and went on to the car. Then I asked my wife if she minded if I take a few minutes to ask about how to join and what ages the organization served. I took Riley (7 at the time) with me. The Cub Scout den leader that greeted us was very helpful and invited us to join a meeting at the local church to check it out. This allowed us to check out the meetings to see if the Cub Scouts would be a good fit for our family before purchasing a uniform and paying the registration fees. This process was a great help in making our final determination on whether to allow Riley to join or not.

What are Cub Scouts

Cub Scouts are the division of the Boy Scouts of America that supports 1st-5th grade boys. Cub Scouts work through fun and adventure to develop good habits in character development, faith in God, citizenship, sportsmanship and physical fitness, relationships, personal achievement, and community service.  All of these activities help prepare them for Boy Scouts.

Do Cub Scouts fit a Christian Homeschool Family?

Cub Scouts augment homeschooling for our family. We looked at Awana, Royal Rangers, and Royal ambassadors. However most of these programs are run as outreach rather than based on discipleship regardless of the way the material was intended to be used. We already have a solid Biblical teaching built into the homeschooling curriculum so Cub Scouts offered more of a balanced skill development model that helped develop life skills in areas that we may not normally give as much attention.

Why not team sports?

I will be brief on this one because this subject deserves way more attention in a future post. The short answer is that in my opinion and based on observations of other families team sports tend to consume way more time than Cub Scouts. Cub Scouts work well with our family to build family identity and encourage parental involvement. At the entry level of Cub Scouts which is called Tiger Cubs (1st graders) a parent or adult partner is required to attend all events with the scout.

Another advantage to Cub Scouts

Protecting the innocence of our children is a high priority. We tend to guard our children from inappropriate worldly influences as much as possible, especially with the younger children. We like to expose our children to the worldly influences on our terms and based on timing that more closely aligns with each child’s moral maturity and the context of their past exposure. Taking active roles in group activities were we can gauge influences and make determinations on when to have follow up conversations is important to us. We also never remove the option of taking our kids out of a program or activity if necessary. Even within Christian circles we do not assume that teachers and leaders have the same level of conviction for protecting the innocence of children.

In the end we decided to allow Riley to join Cub Scouts. This year we have alos allowed Caden to become a Cub Scout. This is Caden’s first opportunity to step out and join in activities witha group of his peers outside of our immediate family. This is a big step for Caden and our family given how guarded we have had to be with his immune system deficiencies earlier in life and his ongoing unique medical challenges.

We constantly evaluate whether the Cub Scout program is supporting and growing our family values or working in opposition. I encourage parents to evaluate all extracurricular activities against your family’s goals and values.

One last note about Cub Scouts in particular. Not all Cub Scout packs and dens are equal. Do not hesitate to move your child to another pack if the one you initially join is inactive, or disorganized. I would also not think twice about moving to another pack or den if the leaders and parents are allowing inappropriate behaviors.