God’s Wisdom Above Man’s Wisdom

Fathers Mandate number 8.  A father must build the trusting relationships on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

The Fathers Mandate Part 8 of 8
http://www.growingkids.org/leaders/gkgw-chapter-summaries/
Reference: Chapter 4 of Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo

Mr. Ezzo says that if you don’t get this then everything else in the other mandates does not matter.

From Psalm 118:8 (TLB) “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.”

Who is God and what does He mean to you and your family?

Please remember that much more is caught than taught.

“Adapted from a recent online discussion.
New dad wonders how to juggle parenting with football season
Football season!: How much is my child going to hate me as he grows up with me watching three football games in a row on Sundays, and another on Monday nights? (I do chores during breaks, I swear, but I’ve never had a baby or child to care for during football season before.)” Source Tampabay.com

This issue of building relationships with your children based on God’s word is not about choosing church over sports on Sunday.  It is about having the ways of God “on your hearts. Impressing them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the street, when you lie down and when you get up.” from Deuteronomy 6: 6-9 New International Version (NIV)

Read God’s word in the Bible for yourself. That is how you will be able to determine what God’s wisdom is verses what other people around you say.

Reading Plans


By the numbers

The Bible has 66 Books made up of 1189 Chapters. To read the Bible in a year you will read on average:
99 Chapters in a month
5.5 Books per month
3.26 Chapters per dayYou can read the entire Bible from cover to cover in less than 100 hours.

Here are some audio Bibles: (aff)

The Word of Promise: Complete Audio BibleThe Complete Audio Holy Bible: King James Version

Why read? To get a better understanding of who God is and what He means to you and your family.

Proverbs 14:12 New King James Version (NKJV)

12 There is a way that seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.

How to become a Christian:

1 John 1:9

New King James Version (NKJV)
9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Ephesians 2:8-9

New Living Translation (NLT)
8 God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. 9 Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.

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Parenting Matters in Education

An article in the NY Times this weekend emphasized the need for parentally involvement. While the studies that the article referenced focused on academics the last few words of the article I can agree with:

“…let’s stop putting the whole burden on teachers. We also need better parents. Better parents can make every teacher more effective.” Source

What I could not find in these study results was how effective parental involvement in teaching character development might help school performance. Teaching children manners, self-control, and respect for authority can go a long way in equipping a teacher for success.

I have known for a long time that parent involvement was the best solution to improving the public school system in this country. My wife taught 3rd grade in the public school system for a few years after graduating from college. My wife learned quickly that kids were not coming to school adequately prepared. By prepared I mean the basics. Kids had not been taught to sit quietly and respect authority. The kids had little self control and some would demand attention constantly as if they were the only child in the room that mattered.

What was the root of this? Many kids have missed out on some very basic parental involvement. In many families the definition of parental involvement has digressed to a point where it is measured by frequency of attendance at plays, music recitals, soccer games, cub scout meetings or baseball games. Many parents consider themselves involved if they check their kids’ homework, volunteer in the child’s class, and attend PTA meetings. A study referenced by the NY Times article was performed by The Center For Public Education. The limited results that they reported confirm what parents consider to be healthy participation by their own actions:

“National survey data from the National Center for Education Statistics shows that attending school meetings or events is the leading form of parent participation in schools, followed by school fundraising activities.” Source

And then some kids don’t even get this much involvement from their parents. Some are bounced from grandparents to friends homes for one reason or another. However the data by the Center for Public Education showed little difference in parental involvement across racial and economic lines.

“…while 82 percent of parents of white students said an adult checked their child’s homework, the rates were higher among parents of African American and Hispanic students, which reported rates of 94% and 91%, respectively. Other studies have shown that lower-income and minority parents often have the same level of involvement in education as others — even though it may not necessarily be reflected at PTA meetings or school fundraisers.”

All that said I would argue that these studies miss the mark from the start. The type of parental involvement needed most is the kind that teaches character and strong values. However this type of parental involvement is mostly outsourced to peers via day cares beginning as early as six weeks old in many families and then other families do so with pre-school programs by age three years. The list of reasons why parents are forced down these paths or choose these methods is longer than we could possibly address on this blog. Are you one of these parents? How do you compensate?

 

 

 

Dads: HUG YOUR KIDS!

The Fathers Mandate Part 7 of 8

From Growing Kids God’s Way by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

Feedback: Andy from Better Dad Podcast says thanks!

Mandate number 7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.

Sherry and I meet in a hugging community. We meet through Phi Theta Kappa International Honor Society. Some folks shake hands, but PTK members HUG!

Mom’s touch provides kids with a feeling of comfort and love. Dad’s hugs

Mr. Ezzo warns that if parents, especially dads, don’t embrace their kids, they will eventually seek it from someone else. And they will find the affection they want and you will likely not like it.

Don’t let you daughter’s preadolescence physical changes cause you to treat her any different. She is the same person on the inside. She needs to know her dad loves her as she goes through these changes.

Hug your kids!

Tech Time

Which anti-virus should you use on your Android phone?

Facebook social engineering.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Tent Camping with Kids

A little camper asleep on daddy's shouldersA few weeks ago I took Riley, Caden, and JJ camping. Well I started out on Friday night with Riley and Caden. They are the two Cub Scouts in the family. By Saturday afternoon Caden had experienced enough of the outdoors for one weekend and wanted to go home. Keep in mind that the camping trip took place exactly four weeks after Caden had back surgery and this kids is on oxygen at night. So we have to give him extra credit for sleeping in a tent even one night with temperatures in the low 40s.

Sherry had come out on Saturday with Josiah (JJ) and Levi so they could see Caden and Riley race in the Rain Gutter Regatta and receive some awards. Riley ended up winning the Raingutter Regatta against all scouts of all ages in all dens in the entire pack. He went undefeated for the weekend. We thought it was the boat design (with help form your truely) until Riley traded boats with another boy and beat him with his own boat. As you can see in the picture of Caden below it is a fairly low tech race so Riley must just have figured something out that no one else could. It is not like he was coached on how to best blow through the straw. The sails barely got hot glued on his an Caden’s boats just minutes before leaving the house on that Friday afternoon. So if you are here looking for the secret design of a Cub Scout Rain Gutter Regatta boat, it does not exist. The speed on Raingutter Regatta is all in the technique in my opinion and you kid either gets it or they don’t.

Josiah was itching to stay the night on Saturday after the boat races even though he nearly fell asleep on my shoulders.  The boys were all exhausted and Caden wanted to go home. Caden had begun to run a fever and was showing signs of needing oxygen earlier in the evening than normal.  Sherry and I swapped out Caden and JJ for the night Caden went home with mom and Levi to sleep in his own bed. As a result three out of four boys got to tent camp with daddy in one weekend.

Caden Racing in the Cub Scout Pack 458 Rain Gutter RegattaWhat I learned about camping with little boys Riley (9), Caden (7), and JJ (4) is that flexibility is absolutely necessary, required, and is a non-negotiable.

I had to bring along some O2 tanks, a suction machine, and a feeding pump for Caden, but we do that everywhere we go anyway as a result of his medical special needs. That’s part of our family identity right along with tent camping with daddy. We don’t make a big fuss about it and no one else does either.

The thing is that you don’t want to ruin these experiences like tent camping for these little guys. You want them to have fun. You want to create memories and build lasting relationships. That was exactly the result we got. All of them are chomping at the bit to go camping again. Mission accomplished!

What have been some of your experiences tent camping with little kids?

Podcast Episode 16 – Google Security Tips

The Fathers Mandate Part 5 of 8

From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

Happy Birthday Caden
 

Mandate number 5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.

Not just encouraging words but a spirit of encouragement.

Leave notes for your kids in their lunch boxes.

Write a letter. Tell you wife to remind you about this one. Scapbooks!

Consider having dad sign Christmas cards and birthday cards.

Give your kids the opportunity to prove themselves trustworthy.
My dad gave me the freedom to drive my little sister around our farm in the old Ford Fairlane. I talked about this in my Howto Train Your Kids to use the Internet Safely.

9 year old driving 64 Ford Fairlane
Tech Time 

http://www.google.com/goodtoknow/

  1. Strong Passwords – change them
  2. Enable two step verification
  3. Always PATCH your operating systems, browsers, and applications
  4. Be aware of suspect web sites – social engineering
  5. Check for antivirus and malware – Use well know products and keep them current

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!


A Happy Birthday Note to Caden

Daddy and Caden at Sky Top Orchard Oct 2011 in Hendersonville, NCDear Caden,

It is your seventh birthday. I love you very much and I am thankful to God for allowing me to be your earthly father. You are a blessing to me and our entire family. I will never know in this life how many lives you have touched or led me to touch as a result of the experiences we have shared. I admire your strength and can not imagine the physical and emotional pain that you have endured in the past seven years as you have literally fought for your life.

You are a special kid in so many ways. Your life has brought me to my knees before God more times in seven years than in all the other 37 years of my life before your birth. Our experiences have taught me to rely on God when man could not help. You have helped teach me a measure of patience that I am not sure I could have learned otherwise. Our entire family has benefitted from the growth that I have experienced as a result of being your daddy.

You are a silly little little boy who more often than not brings peace and love. Your love and hugs are one of a kind. You are most often the first one in the house to spring up and run to the door when I arrive home from a long day’s work. You give me a big hug and giant smile. Your smile is beautiful and your laughter is contagious. You are quick to forgive. You are one of the most empathetic and compassionate people I know, especially when others face pain or illness. You love unconditionally and you are loved unconditionally.

I LOVE YOU CADEN!
Happy Birthday!
Daddy

Caden has endured and continues to endure much in his life. In the past seven years, that sometimes seem like a few days and on other occasions has felt like a few hundred years, Caden has experienced multiple major surgeries. I have a hard time keeping track. The things I can recall off the top of my head are as follows in terms of what would be considered major surgeries:
5 – Open heart surgeries for (IAA Type B, VSD, ASD, Ross Procedure, Pacemaker, oversized PDA, and aortic stenosis)
1 – Heart catheter (went into cardiac arrest during this one and had chest compressions)
3 – Back surgeries to place and adjust VEPTR rods for scoliosis
1 – Stomach surgery for a Nissen Fundoplication and G-tube placement
1 – Neck surgery for a cricopharyngeal myotomy to try to help him swallow

You can read more about Caden past seven years on a blog dedicated to him called Caden’s Page.

Podcast Episode 15 – Give Your Child the Freedom to Fail

The Fathers Mandate Part 4 of 8
From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

The Fathers Mandate Part 4 of 8
http://www.growingkids.org/leaders/gkgw-chapter-summaries/
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.

– Your children need to freedom to fail…in front of Dad.
– So many adults are haunted by the fact that they feel like they could never live up to -dad’s expectations.
– Achievement and relationships are areas that your child will experience failure
– Your job is to help them find the blessings

I have already covered the following:
1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.
2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.
3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

iPhone  or Droid for your children?

The iPhone has some pretty good security features to limit and control access. See security settings that I recommend on the iPhone, iPad, and iPod Touch.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

 

Podcast Episode 14 – Smart Phone Security Concerns

The Fathers Mandate Part 3 of 8
From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4

3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.

Public World – What people see and hear when you are out and about in a public setting. The things that can be seen by strangers on the street.
Personal World – The world where your closest friends and family commonly see and hear things you that are never shown in public.
Private World – This is on the inside. People have to be invited in to see what is in here.

Open window phenomenon – Its when your child invites you into their private world. It can come when walking or at bedtime. Be careful because you never know when the open window will come.

I have already covered the following:
1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.

Riley’s birthday trip

2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

iPhone 4s

Pretty much looks the same on the outside, but on the inside:
Duel processor promises to give better performance
Two Antennas for better reception
Upgraded Camera to 8 megapixels with improved optics including an added lense
Voice activated search and response from Siri

“The Defense IA Security Accreditation Working Group (DSAWG), which is the DoD approval body for Security Technical Implementation Guides (STIGs), determined that iOS devices should not be deployed in the DoD at this time due to unmitigated iOS device security risks. Therefore the DSAWG directed the draft iPhone/iPad STIG be removed from the IASE web site.” Source

Cellphones will become a way to attack otherwise protected devices: report

  1. Attached to USB for charging and data transfer – moving pictures from your phone to your PC or Mac
  2. They act just like Thumb drives Remember Stuxnet?  The attack on Iranian nuclear facilities.
  3. Small keyboard make fro more mistakes typing. How many times have you had to apologize for an auto correction done by your phone?
  4. Browsers are less sophisticated and do not give indications of insecure content.

Convenience comes at a price. The easier it is for the user to do the wrong thing, the easier it is for hackers slip into you phone and then into your network at home or in the office.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

Podcast Episode 13 – GKGW Fathers Mandate 2 – Regularly Demonstrate Love to your Wife

The Fathers Mandate Part 2 of 8
Based on Chapter 4 from Growing Kids God’s Way 

1.  A father must cultivate a sense of family identity. (Review)

– Be proud of your family – as Mr Ezzo said be the cheer leader (We are the Osbornes and we…) Rise above the level of mediocrity!

I added a couple of blog posts this week. One related to Cub Scout activities this past weekend. Our oldest two boys got to shoot BB Guns, Bow and Arrows, and Sling Shots.

Make sure your activities are in line with your family goals and values. Do you have them written down? Are your goals Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, TRUTH based?
What education method makes your family unique: Public, private or home school?

2.  A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.

Mr. Ezzo says, “If you really love your children then give them the gift of confidence and security. Show them how much you love their mom.”

In Episode 4 I talked about the importance of Dating and Couch Time.

In Episode 7 I talked about the need for dads to take your wife out of her role as a mom and put her back in her role as a wife. To do this you need to elarn your wife’s love language. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman 

In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
3.  A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.
12 minutes
4.  A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5.  A father must be the encourager of the family.
6.  A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7.  A father must routinely embrace his children.
8.  A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.

Tech Time

Microsoft Intelligence Report

The PDF report can be found in the download section ont he right side of the page.

An in-depth perspective on software vulnerabilities and exploits, malicious code threats, and potentially unwanted software in the first half of 2011.

45% – User Interaction Required
26% – Autorun of USB or network files

What you can do.

  1. Be smart.
  2. Implement strong passwords and Patch your systems. There are patches for your OS, Browsers (IE, FireFox, Safari, Chrome) Aplciaitons (Adobe flash, reader, etc), iTunes, Qiucktime, MS Office.

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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!

 

BB Guns, Sling Shots, and a Red Mustang

Caden and Daddy on the Archery Range

Photo taken by Riley Osborne

The weekend was so much fun. I enjoyed it almost as much as the boys. Riley and Caden learned how to shoot good old fashion Daisy BB guns, bow and arrows, and sling shots (wrist rockets) loaded with dog food. Our local Boy Scout district group puts on a an event called the Cub Scout Tiger Safari each year in the fall. This event allows new Cub Scouts Caden to experience some really cool activities that they would otherwise have to wait until next summer when offered at the day and resident camps. Things like BB Gun and Archery can only be offered at district and regional level events for safety reasons.

The belt loops and pins that the kids earn are the big prize. Belt loops are awards for elective sports and academic activities that have specific criteria in order to earn. Since the BB guns are only offered a couple of times per year at district or regional events it is an extra special treat for a Cub Scout to earn the BB gun and Archery belt loops. Going into this weekend Riley had earned nearly a dozen belt loops already for chess, computers, foreign language, fishing, swimming, flag football, and more. He was allowed to attend this Tiger specific event as a participating sibling.

The Tiger Safari was held at Camp Moultrie just North of Moncks Corner, SC. This is a Boy Scouts of America camping area located on the shore of Lake Moultrie right next to the Navy recreation center called Short Stay. It is about a 45 minute drive from our house in Goose Creek, SC.

Josiah and Levi in the Toy Red MustangOnce we arrive back home we spent a good portion of the afternoon playing outside. Josiah took Levi for a ride int he little red convertible muscle car. The boys love to run this miniature version of a Ford Mustang around in circles in the cul de sacin front of our house. It was  an action packed day that left a smile on every child’s face.

 

 

 

Here are more pictures from our day:

Riley with the sling shot.

Sling Shot

Caden on the BB Gun Range.

Caden shooting a Daisy BB Gun at Cub Scout CampCaden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket.

Caden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket

Riley shooting a BB gun.

Riley with the Daisy BB Gun