Encouraging, equipping, and challenging dads. Parenting advice on Internet and technology safety.
Caden and JJ showing off their first Pinewood Derby Cars
This is Caden’s first year in Cub Scouts. He and his brothers recently attended an event at the local Lowe’s store in Goose Creek, SC called Pinewood Derby® Days. This is sponsored by Lowe’s and Dremel® tools to help boys create their derby cars while learning about the safe use of tools.
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Gingerbread Train
I talked about Family Identity in Episode 12. It is important for dads to cultivate a sense of family identity. Getting your family together for a project like an annual gingerbread train or house is a great way to build family identity. Enter your creation into a competition. Have some fun with the project by creating some custom cars. Read more about the annual Osborne Family Gingerbread Train on Grill’n Time.
The Father’s Mandate – Where to learn more?
Best – Take a Growing Kids God’s Way class in a small group setting
Better – Go through the videos as a couple at home (GFI.org sale)
Good – Read On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years
Find a Growing Kids God’s Way Class in your local area by visiting the GrowingKids.org web site. Use the “General Ministry or Curriculum” contact email address to ask about classes in your area.
Listen to the eight part series on The Father’s Mandate
1. A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.
2. A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.
3. A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.
4. A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5. A father must be the encourager of the family.
6. A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7. A father must routinely embrace his children.
8. A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.
Update on Caden – He broke his arm and the next week was hospitalized with pneumonia.
Tech Time:
Leo Laporte and Steve Gibson – Security Now Podcast
Which apps are safer? Apps from the Android market or the Apple App store?
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Tonight we visited a local Christian radio station (WKCL) with the Caden’s Tiger Den from the Cub Scout pack. It was a Go-See-It event that helps the Tigers earn the next rank in scouts. While there we learned all about mass communications. But it was a minor conversation that created the most excitement for our family. One of the scout leaders asked if the kids were ready for Santa. And then it happened. Our little four-year-old Josiah stepped up to educate the leader on the truth about Santa in the midst of a room full of 1st graders and their siblings. Sherry was able to stop him before he spilled the beans and sent a room full of kids out of the building crying. I was left once again asking myself why we parents feel so compelled to do Santa?
Maybe because we are immersed in Santa Claus. We are surrounded by Santa no matter where we go these days. Santa is in parades, sitting in the malls, standing on the street corner, popping in at various Christmas parties, inflated standing fifteen feet tall on the neighbor’s lawn, and zooming across the weatherman’s radar screen delivering gifts on Christmas Eve.
Parents go to great lengths to explain this mysterious man to their children. Children are told to be good so that Santa will bring them lots of stuff in return for their good behavior. They are told how Santa will come down the chimney and leave presents under the Christmas tree after the children are asleep on Christmas Eve. Then the children start to grow and learn how difficult it would be for one fat man in a red suite to visit billions of homes in one night. The parents then more often than not become more creative in their explanation of how Santa gets things done. Some children like those who live in mobile homes start to wonder how Santa will get into their house since their home has no chimney. This was a big issue in my home as a child. The parents then may hang an old skeleton key outside and tell the children that this is for Santa.
All of these things are done in fun and with the best of intentions. Parents and children alike enjoy these times. Then one day a child comes home with that question, “Is Santa Claus real? Susie told me that Santa’s not real.” Some parents come clean at that point while others find a way to extend the fun for just one or two more years by further exaggerating the story.
What’s wrong with having a little fun with your children at Christmas time by pretending there is a Santa? It’s just innocent fun, right? My wife and I felt that it was okay for the first two years that we celebrated Christmas as parents. Then my wife came home one night about a month before Christmas from her book club meeting and said, “I am not sure how you feel about this, but I would like for us to reconsider how we celebrate Christmas.” Man what a relief it was for me. I was playing the Santa game to keep my wife happy. So the conversation was not as long and complicated as Sherry thought it might become.
That year we asked our family members not to make such a big deal over Santa. And we have not turned back. We are still often faced with the situations like the one we faced tonight, but we have not regretted the decision one bit.
There’s no way to avoid these types of situations like tonight, but what you have planted in your child’s heart will eventually shine through. My oldest son at a tender age of three was responding frequently with, “we celebrate Jesus’ birthday for Christmas at our house.” You would be absolutely amazed at the smiles that response brings to so many adults. You see, we are not teaching our children that Santa is bad or wrong, but rather we are teaching our children that Christmas is a day when we celebrate the birth of Jesus. Okay I know Jesus may have not been born in December, but Christmas in the Spring would jam it up against Easter. We give gifts to others to show our love for them. I personally try to make sure that the spirit of giving is similar to the spirit of giving God showed when sending Jesus. That gift of Jesus was not based on how good or bad we were, but was giving as an unconditional love gift from our heavenly father.
Oddly enough I have found some of the most frank responses to how so many people(Christians included) do Santa on the Atheism section of About.com. The article is titled Santa Claus: Should Parents Perpetuate the Santa Claus Myth? and it is packed full of great explanations on why, in my opinion, the “little white lie” is not a healthy practice. By the way, it should be obvious from my previous paragraph that I do not endorse the anti-Christian atheist aspects of the About.com page linked above.
Update: A very wise mommy (Erika Shupe) has shared her advice on What to do with Santa over at Large Families on Purpose.
Do you do Santa? What are the reasons behind your decision?
Sherry and I recorded a new episode of the HSSN Podcast this week. Sherry shared some great resources to help teach your kids the true meaning of Christmas. These resources are valuable regardless of whether you are a parent of a kid in public, private or home school. Check out the post and podcast over at the Home School Support Network.
A few weeks ago I took Riley, Caden, and JJ camping. Well I started out on Friday night with Riley and Caden. They are the two Cub Scouts in the family. By Saturday afternoon Caden had experienced enough of the outdoors for one weekend and wanted to go home. Keep in mind that the camping trip took place exactly four weeks after Caden had back surgery and this kids is on oxygen at night. So we have to give him extra credit for sleeping in a tent even one night with temperatures in the low 40s.
Sherry had come out on Saturday with Josiah (JJ) and Levi so they could see Caden and Riley race in the Rain Gutter Regatta and receive some awards. Riley ended up winning the Raingutter Regatta against all scouts of all ages in all dens in the entire pack. He went undefeated for the weekend. We thought it was the boat design (with help form your truely) until Riley traded boats with another boy and beat him with his own boat. As you can see in the picture of Caden below it is a fairly low tech race so Riley must just have figured something out that no one else could. It is not like he was coached on how to best blow through the straw. The sails barely got hot glued on his an Caden’s boats just minutes before leaving the house on that Friday afternoon. So if you are here looking for the secret design of a Cub Scout Rain Gutter Regatta boat, it does not exist. The speed on Raingutter Regatta is all in the technique in my opinion and you kid either gets it or they don’t.
Josiah was itching to stay the night on Saturday after the boat races even though he nearly fell asleep on my shoulders. The boys were all exhausted and Caden wanted to go home. Caden had begun to run a fever and was showing signs of needing oxygen earlier in the evening than normal. Sherry and I swapped out Caden and JJ for the night Caden went home with mom and Levi to sleep in his own bed. As a result three out of four boys got to tent camp with daddy in one weekend.
What I learned about camping with little boys Riley (9), Caden (7), and JJ (4) is that flexibility is absolutely necessary, required, and is a non-negotiable.
I had to bring along some O2 tanks, a suction machine, and a feeding pump for Caden, but we do that everywhere we go anyway as a result of his medical special needs. That’s part of our family identity right along with tent camping with daddy. We don’t make a big fuss about it and no one else does either.
The thing is that you don’t want to ruin these experiences like tent camping for these little guys. You want them to have fun. You want to create memories and build lasting relationships. That was exactly the result we got. All of them are chomping at the bit to go camping again. Mission accomplished!
What have been some of your experiences tent camping with little kids?
Dear Caden,
It is your seventh birthday. I love you very much and I am thankful to God for allowing me to be your earthly father. You are a blessing to me and our entire family. I will never know in this life how many lives you have touched or led me to touch as a result of the experiences we have shared. I admire your strength and can not imagine the physical and emotional pain that you have endured in the past seven years as you have literally fought for your life.
You are a special kid in so many ways. Your life has brought me to my knees before God more times in seven years than in all the other 37 years of my life before your birth. Our experiences have taught me to rely on God when man could not help. You have helped teach me a measure of patience that I am not sure I could have learned otherwise. Our entire family has benefitted from the growth that I have experienced as a result of being your daddy.
You are a silly little little boy who more often than not brings peace and love. Your love and hugs are one of a kind. You are most often the first one in the house to spring up and run to the door when I arrive home from a long day’s work. You give me a big hug and giant smile. Your smile is beautiful and your laughter is contagious. You are quick to forgive. You are one of the most empathetic and compassionate people I know, especially when others face pain or illness. You love unconditionally and you are loved unconditionally.
I LOVE YOU CADEN!
Happy Birthday!
Daddy
Caden has endured and continues to endure much in his life. In the past seven years, that sometimes seem like a few days and on other occasions has felt like a few hundred years, Caden has experienced multiple major surgeries. I have a hard time keeping track. The things I can recall off the top of my head are as follows in terms of what would be considered major surgeries:
5 – Open heart surgeries for (IAA Type B, VSD, ASD, Ross Procedure, Pacemaker, oversized PDA, and aortic stenosis)
1 – Heart catheter (went into cardiac arrest during this one and had chest compressions)
3 – Back surgeries to place and adjust VEPTR rods for scoliosis
1 – Stomach surgery for a Nissen Fundoplication and G-tube placement
1 – Neck surgery for a cricopharyngeal myotomy to try to help him swallow
You can read more about Caden past seven years on a blog dedicated to him called Caden’s Page.
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The Fathers Mandate Part 3 of 8
From Growing Kids God’s Way
Scroll down to the reference for Chapter 4
3. A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.
Public World – What people see and hear when you are out and about in a public setting. The things that can be seen by strangers on the street.
Personal World – The world where your closest friends and family commonly see and hear things you that are never shown in public.
Private World – This is on the inside. People have to be invited in to see what is in here.
Open window phenomenon – Its when your child invites you into their private world. It can come when walking or at bedtime. Be careful because you never know when the open window will come.
I have already covered the following:
1. A father must cultivate a sense of family identity.
Riley’s birthday trip
2. A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.
In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
4. A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5. A father must be the encourager of the family.
6. A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7. A father must routinely embrace his children.
8. A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.
iPhone 4s
Pretty much looks the same on the outside, but on the inside:
Duel processor promises to give better performance
Two Antennas for better reception
Upgraded Camera to 8 megapixels with improved optics including an added lense
Voice activated search and response from Siri
“The Defense IA Security Accreditation Working Group (DSAWG), which is the DoD approval body for Security Technical Implementation Guides (STIGs), determined that iOS devices should not be deployed in the DoD at this time due to unmitigated iOS device security risks. Therefore the DSAWG directed the draft iPhone/iPad STIG be removed from the IASE web site.” Source
Cellphones will become a way to attack otherwise protected devices: report
Convenience comes at a price. The easier it is for the user to do the wrong thing, the easier it is for hackers slip into you phone and then into your network at home or in the office.
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Please leave feedback in the comments below or contact us via:
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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!
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1. A father must cultivate a sense of family identity. (Review)
– Be proud of your family – as Mr Ezzo said be the cheer leader (We are the Osbornes and we…) Rise above the level of mediocrity!
I added a couple of blog posts this week. One related to Cub Scout activities this past weekend. Our oldest two boys got to shoot BB Guns, Bow and Arrows, and Sling Shots.
Make sure your activities are in line with your family goals and values. Do you have them written down? Are your goals Simple, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, TRUTH based?
What education method makes your family unique: Public, private or home school?
2. A father must regularly demonstrate love to his wife.
Mr. Ezzo says, “If you really love your children then give them the gift of confidence and security. Show them how much you love their mom.”
In Episode 4 I talked about the importance of Dating and Couch Time.
In the coming weeks I will share ideas to help dads fulfill the remaining mandates
3. A father must understand and respect his child’s private world.
12 minutes
4. A father must give his children the freedom to fail.
5. A father must be the encourager of the family.
6. A father must guard his tongue and his tone and learn to measure his response against the excitement on their faces.
7. A father must routinely embrace his children.
8. A father must build the trusting relationship on God’s Word, not on human wisdom.
Tech Time
The PDF report can be found in the download section ont he right side of the page.
An in-depth perspective on software vulnerabilities and exploits, malicious code threats, and potentially unwanted software in the first half of 2011.
45% – User Interaction Required
26% – Autorun of USB or network files
What you can do.
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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!
Photo taken by Riley Osborne
The weekend was so much fun. I enjoyed it almost as much as the boys. Riley and Caden learned how to shoot good old fashion Daisy BB guns, bow and arrows, and sling shots (wrist rockets) loaded with dog food. Our local Boy Scout district group puts on a an event called the Cub Scout Tiger Safari each year in the fall. This event allows new Cub Scouts Caden to experience some really cool activities that they would otherwise have to wait until next summer when offered at the day and resident camps. Things like BB Gun and Archery can only be offered at district and regional level events for safety reasons.
The belt loops and pins that the kids earn are the big prize. Belt loops are awards for elective sports and academic activities that have specific criteria in order to earn. Since the BB guns are only offered a couple of times per year at district or regional events it is an extra special treat for a Cub Scout to earn the BB gun and Archery belt loops. Going into this weekend Riley had earned nearly a dozen belt loops already for chess, computers, foreign language, fishing, swimming, flag football, and more. He was allowed to attend this Tiger specific event as a participating sibling.
The Tiger Safari was held at Camp Moultrie just North of Moncks Corner, SC. This is a Boy Scouts of America camping area located on the shore of Lake Moultrie right next to the Navy recreation center called Short Stay. It is about a 45 minute drive from our house in Goose Creek, SC.
Once we arrive back home we spent a good portion of the afternoon playing outside. Josiah took Levi for a ride int he little red convertible muscle car. The boys love to run this miniature version of a Ford Mustang around in circles in the cul de sacin front of our house. It was an action packed day that left a smile on every child’s face.
Here are more pictures from our day:
Riley with the sling shot.
Caden on the BB Gun Range.
Caden getting ready to fire a wrist rocket.
Riley shooting a BB gun.
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Part 1 of an 8 part series on how I implement the Fathers Mandate from chapter 4 of the Growing Kids God’s Way (GKGW) parenting series by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo. This episode provides a short click from GKGW session four where Mr. Ezzo introduces the first mandate.
CNN Opinion article Why Men are in Trouble by William J Bennett
“Today, 18-to- 34-year-old men spend more time playing video games a day than 12-to- 17-year-old boys.” via Shawn Wood
Courageous Movie opened Friday September 30th. This awesome movie is a great challenge for dayd, Courageous came in number one in the box office for new releases last weekend.
Parenting and Relationships
The Father’s Mandate – How I cultivate a sense of family identity.
Tech Time
Facebook Share “feature”
My friend, we will call him John, shares a photo on his wall. He shared it via the “share” button from his friend Sue who shared it from her “Wall Photos” album. I am only friends with John and I am not friends with Sue on Facebook. BUT, now that my friend John has shared a photo from Sue, I can not click on that photo and then cycle through all of the Wall photos that Sue has ever shared….and get this…I can even comment on those photos. Sue does not know me and I do not know Sue but here I am leaving comments on Sue’s wall.
The reverse is true. Based on the default settings in Facebook…Once you share a photo it can be shared by any one of your friends and their friends can then share it and so on and so forth. And all of the friends of all of the people who have shared the photo now have access to view and write comments on ALL of the photos in the album that contains the one photo that your friend shared.
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Technology Safety is more about Behavior than the Technology!
