Bed Wetting Sheet Trick

Bed Wetting Sheet TrickBedwetting is a fairly common issue that many parents deal with at some point. Medical experts give assurances that this is nothing to be alarmed over. However, there are some logistics to deal with as a parent. You may have your child potty trained during the day, but they are not quite there at night and that can create messes. You have a few choices in terms of using night-time pull-ups or some kind of underwear cover. Many of these things are not 100% solutions. They may leak or you may simply choose to bite the bullet and move straight to cloth underwear at night without plastic pants. When/if you find yourself facing reoccurring bed wetting mess, the following will help you manage the clean-up process.

The picture above shows a bed made with an allergen cover on the mattress  four fitted sheets, and some protective pads between each fitted sheet.  The process is very simple. We learned this trick from many hospital stays with our son Caden. He is now eight years old (2013) and still has accidents. He has some pretty severe medical special needs that cause him to mess up sheets regularly. Even still, this trick is a perfect solution for average kids who simple have bed wetting accidents. Since we have made the bed with multiple layers we only need to strip off one sheet and the bed pads between the top sheet and the next layer. The pads that are still clean can be recycled for when you make the bed the next time. The soiled pads are simply tossed in the trash.

Short sheeting a bed the long way

I call this short-sheeting a bed the long way. The hospitals actually use a short (partial) sheet under the child’s torso with a bed pad under the short sheet. The short sheet can also be used in a hospital setting to help turn/roll a patient with little assistance.

How to short sheet a bed the long wayYou will notice that we cover the entire bed. This is because our son gets up and often spreads the mess to the end of the bed as he is getting up to come tell us he has had an accident. The two pads near the end are not soiled as often, but they do protect the other layers of sheets, and the allergen cover protects the mattress from accidents. Click for a closer look.  It is much easier in the middle of the night to simply strip off a layer and not have to worry about making a bed at 3:30 AM and then again at 5:45 AM. There have been nights that we have gone through three layers. And there are many nights when no layers are peeled off.

This last picture shows how many layers there are on this bed. You do have to stock up on some extra sheets and some bed pads, but that is a small price to pay in my opinion. You will notice that we use a solid color sheet on the bottom. That is our signal that we are on our last sheet and that there is nothing below it except for bed pads and an allergen cover. That means it is time to do laundry and remake the bed. The process of making the bed only takes a few minutes per layer.

Gun Control – NOW is not the time

Daddy and Caden - Sep 2012The 8 year old boy pictured here with me has probably come closer to death more times than most people reading this post combined. He has had nearly twice as many major surgeries than he has had birthdays beginning with his first, basically an exploratory open-heart surgery at 6 days old, and has averaged 30 nights per year hospitalized since then, mostly due to life-threatening illnesses. During those 8 years I have sat many of day in ICU waiting rooms beside parents who lost children, mostly to what appeared to be much less serious illnesses than what Caden battled while we got to take Caden home. Would I like to do something? Yes! Could I really do anything in the heat of the moment to help the next parent take their child home alive? NO, but now learned over time that I do try to help them prepare for the seriousness of the situation! More on that in a minute. But in the moment there is little than can be said or done to comfort these parents. They are experiencing a grief like most of us have never had to face and prayerfully will not have to face. So what can be done RIGHT NOW?

What we need to do right now is to quietly love on these people who have lost loved ones… especially those parents who have lost a young child.

How you might ask? In my opinion we should start by doing what Job’s friends did at first. They got things right with their initial response to Job’s grief in my opinion. They sat with him without saying a word for seven days and seven nights. There is nothing we can do or say for those hurting right now. Reference: Job 2:13

Am I saying that I am opposed to talking about new gun laws? NO!!! What I am opposed to is talking seriously about new gun laws in the heat of the moment…just as much as I am opposed to talking new laws governing surgeries or ICU procedures before the parents sitting next to me at a children’s hospital have even had a chance to bury their child. I believe we should step back and take a deep breath and realize that this time should not be about trying to fix anything, but simply being there for those who hurt so bad…while we still get to tuck in our kids or other loved ones safely tonight. Getting you and your family right with God, understanding and accepting Jesus’ gift of eternal life through salvation, is the most  important thing you can do, especially given the increased frequency of events like this one at the Sandy Hook school in CT. There is NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW for our family than understanding, accepting, and sharing the message of God’s gift of salvation.

For several years now I have been able to hand off my son to a surgeon or ICU nurse without an overwhelming fear of losing him because of the peace I have. My wife and I get asked often when our son Caden is facing a very serious condition or surgery, “How do you do it?” (remain so calm and peaceful) It is not easy or simple and I am completely convenced that our ability to handle life threaten situations with our son is not within our own power. As said so plainly by Dr. Charleston Stanley, “Obey God and leave all the consequences to Him.”

If you want to have that peace then I am happy to share how I got it. The peace did not come immediately or easily. But it came painfully over a period of years by watching others lose kids and by facing very tough odds of survival with my own child. All this while becoming increasingly convinced that we are not in control of everything no matter how much we would like to be. So we and our children should be focused on what does matter most and what we can control. Those two things are one in the same. We can control whether or not we accept God’s gift of salvation. Podcast episode 19 outlines a pretty good understanding of God’s gift of salvation which is the first step I took towards a peace when facing death. Ephesians 2:8-9 There is more to it, but that is the most significant step you have to take first. I’ll share more on my journey to peace at a later time.

Please pray for peace and comfort for the families as they grieve. Don’t try to do something, because there really is not much a stranger can do at this time other than to lift these hurting people up to the Lord in prayer. None of us will be able to understand why all these terrible things happen in this life. I am certain that God will use these things for the good of those who put their trust in Him. Reference: Romans 8:28 In the meantime, realize how precious of a gift you have to spend another moment with your loved ones and make the most of it.

The Father’s Mandate is a great place to start with the most important mandate being the last one. I share my implementation of the Father’s Mandate in Episodes 12-19 of the Daddy Life Podcast. All episodes can be found on iTunes. Love your children now. Share God’s word with them and teach them the importance of knowing and accepting God’s greatest gift, eternal life through salvation.

May God Bless You and Yours!!!

Photo by: Refuge Studios

Happy Birthday Caden

Caden and his brothers on his birthday

Caden celebrated his 8th birthday in the hospital today. Caden has been hospitalized at the Medical University of SC for a week due to pneumonia. You can read all of the details of Caden’s condition on Caden’s Page.

Caden Puzzle Ball

Caden did have some fun today thanks to his brothers and some special gestures from hospital staff. This picture above is of Caden playing with his new Perplexus puzzle ball. Our friends the Bledsoe’s gave one of these to Josiah on his birthday and Caden has struggled with the complexity of that one so Sherry got a smaller easier one for Caden.

Caden in a turkey hat Dr. Birthday Clown

The left picture is of Caden with his turkey hat playing with his rescue helicopter delivered courtesy of the MUSC staff and Child Life group.  Our good friend Dr. Rusty Turner served as the unofficial party Dr. Clown. The picture on the right is of Dr. Clown Turner. He got a few smiles out of Caden and had the rest of us laughing. Below is a look behind the glasses and nose. He shared his clown secrets with us.

Dr Clown Secrets

Traveling with a Medically Special Needs Child


Caden

We have been home from our vacation for over a week now. This year’s road trip included six of us in a minivan for about 1600 miles of driving over a period of seven days. From a medical supply perspective, during the seven day trip Caden went through more than a dozen oxygen tanks,  received nearly two dozen tube feedings, and he spent a total of almost 5 hours on The Vest®.

Now before I go into more details, I want to give a disclaimer. I am not complaining about excitement created by missing oxygen tanks or all the gear required for Caden when traveling. I am trying to educate folks on the complexities associated with moving a medically special needs child around even though he does not “look special” to many people as seen above with the first fish he caught. One of our very dearest friends mentioned that we should not have that much to pack for this trip since Levi does not need a pack-n-play any longer. That last part is true, but most folks forget or don’t realize just how much gear goes along with being exclusively tube fed and having to be treated daily to prevent pneumonia and micro-aspiration due to the lack fo swallowing ability. Caden’s care is not as simple as grabbing a box of tissues and a suction machine like most folks see us do when we are out and about around town.

Medically Special Needs Child Travel Supplies

The medical equipment required for any over-night trip with Caden requires:

  • Tube Feeding Supplies* (Formula, feeding pump bags, a feeding pump with charger)
  • A spare G-Tube button
  • Extra feeding tube extensions
  • Syringes
  • A suction machine and charger
  • Oxygen Supply (1.5 liters during sleep hours)
  • Tissues
  • Bed pads
  • Spare linens
  • The Vest®
  • A jogging stroller (Caden does not have the stamina to walk for long, especially in the heat.)

The picture above may help put things into context. This picture includes most of the items listed above (minus three days worth of oxygen). This stuff took up the entire back storage area of our Kia Sedona van plus the floor space under Caden and Levi’s feet and the stroller when on the roof. The picture does not include any clothes or toys for Caden or anyone else in the family.  The basketball was added to the picture for scale.

Now that the trip is over I realize that we might have been able to carry enough oxygen to last the full week on the road. However, it would have been a tight fit. The fear of the unknown and the thought of a possible pneumonia while on the road made me very nervous about how we might get additional oxygen for Caden while 750 miles away from our home supply (over three dozen tanks in our garage) if needed. That is where the real story of the week came in.

I went ahead called the medical supply company that we use about three weeks before our trip. They are a national company and I arranged to have enough oxygen delivered to the Twin Lakes Camp and Conference Center in Hillsboro, IN to last us through the Labor Day weekend. We arrived on the Friday before Labor Day at approximately 3:30pm. I immediately checked in with the camp director to see if the oxygen had arrived. It had not. Caden uses about two standard E bottles (one shown in picture above) of oxygen per night when a concentrator/generator is not available.  I knew we did not have enough oxygen tanks to make it through until Tuesday when the medical supply offices opened back up for business. As I mentioned earlier, we could not comfortably transport enough for an entire week while traveling and so we only had a little in reserve after one night in a hotel already. I  realized that it was late in the day on a Friday of a holiday weekend and I tried to contact the office in Lafayette, IN where the oxygen was supposed to come from. I got nothing but a busy signal after about seven attempts within a 30 minute period. At this point it was a few minutes before 4 PM and I was about to start driving to Lafayette to pick up the oxygen tanks myself when I decided to make one last attempt to contact the medical supply company via their toll-free service. I was transferred to a lady at the Kokomo, IN office which was about 20 miles further away than Lafayette. The lady calmed my nerves and assured me that she would get oxygen delivered even if it had to be done the next day on Saturday…which was fine with me since we had enough to make it through one more night. She even gave me her cell number in the event we had trouble getting what we needed. Come to find out the lady had a delivery truck in Crawfordsville which was only about 15 miles away from our location at Twin Lakes and they had the tanks on their truck that we needed. She diverted them to Twin Lakes on Friday evening (arriving after 5pm) and they gave us the tanks we needed. The two guys on the truck were super nice and seemed genuine in their efforts to help in getting the supplies we needed.

JJ playing OctaballSo the weekend started off on a positive note even though we had a little scare. We ended up having an outstanding time visiting with friends from all over the country for the weekend. In addition to a variety of planned activities coordinated by our friends Joey and Carla Link the boys fished and played Octaball.

We continued our vacation with a tour of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (IMS) and then spent two nights in the Cincinnati area so that we could visit the Creation Museum. These two stops rate a blog post each so I will save that for another day. The boys loved kissing the Yard of Bricks at IMS and we we all enjoyed our fourth visit to the creation museum where we got to meet Dr. Georgia Purdom and Buddy Davis.

 

 

 

Pneumonia Fighting Machine

Caden using The Vest by Hill-Rom to fight pneumonia

It appears that Caden is wearing some sort of NASA space suite or maybe part of one fo those G-Suits that fighter pilots wear. No. Caden is not going to be the next person to walk on the moon. At least not at this point in his life. The machine that Caden is attached to is called The VEST® by Hill-Rom. Caden was diagnosed with Bronchiectasis a while back and The VEST was prescribed to help Caden keep his airway clear. Bronchiectasis is one of the conditions that The VEST.

This machine sends pulses of air into the inflatable vest and that creates a vibration on Caden’s torso to help break up potentially infectious mucus in his airway and lungs. Caden uses The VEST about 40 minutes per day when he is well and even more on days when he is battling a diagnosis of pneumonia like he has had this past week.

Caden is doing better in recent days but the fevers and need for oxygen seems to come and go. Caden takes it all in stride. He has got accustom to the pain that his little body has to endure on a regular basis as a result of medical complications caused by 22q11.2 (DiGeorge Syndrome).

This is just one of many pieces of medical equipment that Caden uses regularly.  When we travel and stay over night somewhere we have a special additional list for Caden. In addition to clothes, shoes, toiletries, and The Skunk, Caden’s list of medical gear includes:

– Feeding Pump
– Feeding Pump Bags (1 new bag per day plus a few spares)
– Formula (6 – 8 oz cans per day)
– Syringes for giving water and medication
– The actual medication (some require refrigeration)
– Suction Machine
– Oxygen Tanks and/or Oxygen concentrator/generator machine
– Oxygen canula and mask
– Pulse Oximeter
– Thermometer
– Spare G-Tube button
– Braces for his feet
– Bed pads
– Chargers for everything electrical

If we fly then things get even more complicated. We have a trip planned in a couple of months and we are going to have to arrange for empty oxygen tanks to be replaced with full ones while we are on the road. We can only take so many in the car and still have room for our family of six and all the luggage that goes with a crew that size plus the list above.

Do you have a special need child? what unique equipment does your child require?

Matt Rutherford – A Dad with Cerebral Palsy

This podcast episode contains an interview with Matt

Daddy Life Podcast Episode 29 LogoDue to complications at birth, Matt was afflicted with cerebral palsy, which resulted in his permanently crippled condition. Surprisingly, a disability resulting from Cerebral Palsy (CP) has never stood between him and his life goals with his career, marriage, or in his parenting.  From the moment he was born, Matt demonstrated his ability to overcome the odds.  During the birthing process, he was deprived of oxygen for more than 20 minutes.  This lack of oxygen resulted in damage to the cerebral cortex. While the lack of oxygen did not affect Matt’s cognitive ability, it significantly impacted his muscle control and movement.


Matt’s Web Site: SOAR1.net

More from this episode:

Happy Father’s Day

Happy Anniversary to my wonderful wife Sherry.

 

Also mentioned in this episode:

Understand Childhood Fears on Childwise Chat

Riley’s review of The Ark, the Reed, and the Fire Cloud on The Home School Support Network

Large Families on Purpose

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A Special Kid with a Golden Egg

Caden with Golden Easter Egg

Photo by: Virginia Gregg

Caden is a very special kid with a very popular egg. This egg contains a coveted wooden chip to get a free cup cake at a local gourmet bake shop. The irony in Caden finding this egg two years in a row is that he is the only kid participating who has never swallowed…not even his own saliva. In addition to numerous heart surgeries, back surgeries, and much more, seven year old Caden has taken all of his nutrition and hydration via feeding tube since birth. Just like last year, Caden gave the wooden chip to his older brother Riley.

Our family went to this annual Easter Egg hunt with some like-minded friends who all alumni of the GFI Parenting Ministry. This is the second time the local group of parents got together to have some fun over the Easter holiday.

Caden will have back surgery later this week to adjust the VEPTR rods (pictured below) placed in September 2010 to treat scoliosis.

VEPTR Rods - scoliosis

Your prayers for a rapid recovery would be appreciated.

Ask Your Child to Forgive You

Daddy Life Podcast Episode 25 - Forgiveness
Rachel from over at the blog titled My Baby Sleep Guide is the winner of the latest (2012) edition of On Becoming Babywise.

Speaking of Babywise, there is a new Nap App available for the iPhone from PocketParenting.com. This app has been developed by the same folks that publish On Becoming Babywise. There are demo videos and screenshots on the web site.

 

Asking your child for Forgiveness and Make it Right

Asking your child to forgive you for something you did to hurt them is hard. If you are a headstrong natural born alpha male leader type, it can be extremely more difficult to master this process. It takes an extra degree of humility.

I recently embarrassed my nine year old son Riley. I raised my voice to him in front of some neighborhood kids. A few minutes later Riley let me know (respectfully) that he had been embarrassed by my tone. I was still hot and sent him to his room so that I could cool off.

After I cooled off I went up to Riley’s room and sat on the bed next to him. I asked him if he would forgive me for embarrassing him in front of his friends by raising my voice. He said yes and gave me a big hug.

This about where things end for how most people deal with forgiveness. Our friends Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo taught us better in Growing Kids God’s Way. They teach that when wrong is done and forgiveness is asked for an give, there is still a need to restore the relationship.

Then I asked Riley how I could make it right with him.

Many people apologize or say they are sorry. Very few ever ask how they can make things right. By making things right I mean that we should try to restore the relationship.

Tech Time

Droid – Angry Birds Ads –  How to stop advertisements while your child plays Angry Birds on your Android OS.

Using your ICE (In Case of Emergency) contacts on your phone.

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Babywise Tips for Working Parents

It’s Babywise Blog Network Week! All week, we’ll be featuring blog posts from other Babywise-friendly blogs. The schedule is as follows:

· Monday: Valerie Plowman, Chronicles of a Babywise Mom
· Tuesday: Maureen Monfore, Childwise Chat
· Wednesday: Hank Osborne, Daddy Life
· Thursday: Rachel Rowell, My Baby Sleep Guide
· Friday: Bethany Lynch, The Graceful Mom

Help us promote solidarity within the Babywise/Ezzo community by subscribing to these blogs.

___________________________________

by Bethany Lynch from The Graceful Mom

Dancing with mom

Photo Credit van city 197

I read Babywise while pregnant with my first child. It just jived with our natural parenting philosophy and gave us structure for how to start. I think that is what I love most about Babywise…the ”start as you mean to go on” mentality. We parent very similarly to this day as we did over 4 years ago. We do not change our tactics after they sleep through the night, or walk, or start preschool.

What I was unprepared for was losing much of the structure when I returned to work. I was heartbroken at the thought of daycare changing everything I had worked on the previous 3 months. It took a lot of trial and error and a few tears to figure out how to keep our parenting goals and philosophies when we were not always physically there.

While our goals may not match everyone’s goals, I think there are quite a few things that are applicable to many working moms and dads. Here are my favorite aspects of babywise that make a huge difference in our satisfaction and ability to be very involved while we are at work:

  • Find a mutual caregiver. If daycare is not working, find something else. If your family member refuses to work with you, consider daycare. For us, a nanny was the best solution. We still evaluate it every 6 months or so. Being happy with our caregiver was probably one of the biggest factors in my peace and happiness while away at work.
  • Use a log just like daycare even if your mom or best friend is watching your children. Sometimes just knowing if they ate or slept is extremely helpful. Down the road, you can use it to look for structure, potty training, time outs, funny stories.
  • Don’t be afraid of structure when you are home. For awhile, I thought that I needed to be fun and carefree on my days off or the weekends. My kids really do like predictability, and they need to know the rules and reasons are still the same.
  • Don’t be afraid of flexibility. Yes, I know I just mentioned structure. I also tend to be overbearing or overstructured as a working mom at times. Recently I decided to start waking my son up 40 min early when my work schedule changed. It was much more important to cuddle with him and start his day early than to deal with the attitude from missing me.
  • Take your children on dates. I think this is important if you stay at home or work outside the home, but I think it is crucial for working parents to provide that extra special attention. I have even taken personal days specifically for taking a child on a special date. My kids need one-on-one time on a regular basis. We often run errands with one child, and not for ease but for special time. Make sure that dates are dates, and not errands, though.
  • Aim to stay on the same page as your spouse, especially with obedience and discipline. My husband backs me up 100% as a mother and validates almost all of my parenting decisions. We regularly take time to discuss discipline strategy, sleep needs, education, childcare. While this tip is not unique to being a working mom, I am absolutely certain that I would not be the mother that I am without the support of my husband.
  • Find unique ways to implement structured activities like room time and couch time. We still make a point for our children to observe us in conversation without interruption each evening. It may be while we fix supper, while we sit in the backyard, or while the kids finish eating those last 3 bites. Roomtime comes and goes. I wish I could do it every day but it depends on our nanny and how often I have errands on my days off. As they get older, it gets easier, and I try to do it even for 15-30 most days. Some of my favorite moments have been listening to them play together nicely and use their imagination by themselves.
  • Give your children (and yourself) the gift of sleep. I work with so many parents that feel guilty about missed time and let their kids stay up late every single night. We have certainly made exceptions but consistently teaching our children to sleep well has been one of the best things we did. Bedtime is usually without exception. We also started sleep training from birth. Our kids slept through the night around 4 months of age, for the most part, and I could not imagine working full-time more than a couple of weeks without a full night’s sleep.
  • Don’t over-commit your family time. As a working mom, I feel like I need to have the same attention to detail and opportunities as moms that work in the home. Soccer, classroom volunteer, playgroups. Sometimes it just isn’t possible, and the most important thing is that our family gets enough time together even if that means cutting out other obligations.
  • Don’t wish for what isn’t. I love the structure and parent-directed emphasis of Babywise. I love the results of sleep training. I hate that I am not here all day to implement my dream routine. I hate that I feel like I have to compromise with caregivers. I hate that I often wonder “what if.” The best tip I could ever give another working mom (or dad) is to value what you have. Value what you can do, the values you can instill, the time you can structure…and those sweet grubby hands.

Bethany Lynch is a full-time mother of two young children, a son and daughter. She also works as a full-time NICU pharmacist. Frustrated with the lack of resources for Christian working moms, she decided to start her own inspirational blog. She is very passionate about encouraging other mothers balancing work and family.

Fathering a Broken Heart

Caden in PCICU in 2008I have a very clear memory of the events of July 29, 2004. We arrived at the medical university OB/GYN clinic and were taken into an ultrasound room. The technician was very nice and seemed genuine in her concern for Sherry’s comfort. Things seemed to be going well. The technician gave us an unofficial comment that told us the cyst was not a serious concern. The moments to follow began to change the mood of the room. The technician stated that she needed to verify something and left the room. She returned with another technician to verify what she saw on the ultrasound monitor. A few minutes later one technician left to get a doctor. This doctor brought in another doctor and a genetic counselor. Sherry and I noticed the tears starting to build in the original technician’s eyes. The doctor then broke the news. The technician had detected a fairly significant hole between the ventricles of our baby’s heart. This heart defect is referred to as a VSD (Ventricular Septal Defect).

This was all quite overwhelming to Sherry and me.  At the time we had no idea that the VSD would be the least of our concerns.  She was crying, the technician was crying, and I didn’t know what to do as tears flooded my face. The doctor said he was referring us to the Pediatric Cardiology Department in the main hospital for an echocardiogram to verify the findings.  We waited while calls were made to get us in to Cardiology immediately.

This was the beginning of the end of the name game. Sherry and I decided that there were going to be enough surprises in the remainder of this pregnancy so we asked the technician to tell us the gender of our child. “It’s a boy!” We were excited! Now my list of names to choose from was cut in half. Even better, we could now refer to the baby as “he” instead of “the baby”.

The Pediatric Cardiology Department was able to see us that same day as requested by Sherry’s be OB/GYN. We made our way to Peds Cardiology in the rain. This was my first time stepping foot in the Medical University of South Carolina hospital.  Entering the hospital was intimidating enough without the stress of the underlying purpose of our visit. The place was huge. It was bigger than any civilian hospital I had ever been in. Unlike us, most people were moving about as if they knew exactly where they were going. We finally found our way to the Pediatric Cardiology Department on the sixth floor of the Children’s Hospital in the maze of interconnected buildings.

We were met by a very friendly and compassionate staff. I didn’t know it then, but this was a scene that they had experienced before. We went into a room with a machine very much like the room we had been in at the OB/GYN clinic where the last ultrasound was done just hours before. The technician came in and spent what seemed like an hour taking pictures of our baby’s heart. The process was almost identical to an ultrasound from our perspective with the exception of the monitor showing only our son’s heart. Very few words were spoken. The technician finally got up and told us that the doctor would review the images and then come talk to us shortly. The doctor came in sooner than we expected. He was a very nice man who seemed as compassionate and sincere as everyone else we had talked to that day. He explained to us the details of our son’s heart defects. Yes, there appeared to be several of them. The most serious defect was referred to as an Interrupted Aortic Arch (IAA). The doctor said that the aorta, which carries oxygenated blood away from the heart, did not appear to be connected properly. Part of the aorta was believed to be narrowed or may even be missing. They were unable to tell the exact diagnosis with the angle of the two-dimensional picture from the echocardiogram. The doctor also reported that the PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus) was enlarged. The PDA is a natural bypass that allows the blood between the oxygenated and the less-oxygenated sides of the heart to mix while a baby is in the womb. Babies get their oxygenated blood from the mother until after birth, and the PDA helps mom’s blood mix with the baby’s blood.

The doctor proceeded to tell us that if our son’s PDA closed after birth it could be fatal due to the suspected narrowing or restriction of the aorta. He told us that our son would require open-heart surgery shortly after birth. We asked for a better definition of “shortly”. He told us that our son would most likely require surgery within a week after he was born. These drawings were given to us to illustrate what they had found during the fetal echocardiogram. We would later learn how eerily accurate these drawings were even though there representing a child’s heart that was only about 22 weeks in womb.

Normal Heart  Broken Heart - IAA Type B, VSD, ASD

The doctor went on to tell us that these heart defects would require medication called prostaglandins to be administered immediately after birth to help prevent the PDA from closing before the surgery could be performed. He told us that this drug could only be delivered through a central line. A central line is an IV-type line that runs through the baby’s belly- button or a central artery, and is threaded in as near as possible to the heart. This would allow the drug to be delivered to an area of the circulation system that would allow for the fastest distribution of the drug. He told us that these lines are normally inserted immediately after birth before the blood starts to clot in the veins that are fed by the umbilical cord.

The doctor took as much time as we needed to understand what he was explaining to us. He had drawings of a normal heart. He had another drawing of what he derived from the echocardiogram to illustrate what he believed our son’s heart looked like. He did give us a tiny bit of hope by telling us that we needed to follow the progress of these defects with more echocardiograms. There was a chance that things could get worse, but there was a chance that things could get better. By no means did the doctor give us a gleaming ray of hope that the defects would completely disappear.

Sherry and I were pretty overwhelmed at this point. The whole thing had really not sunk in for me just yet. The staff realized that we were near a state of shock. They told us to sit in the examination room as long as we needed before leaving. They offered their contact information for us to use to call with any questions that we had after we got home. They scheduled follow-up appointments for Sherry to have the echocardiograms throughout the remainder of the pregnancy to see if the defect had progressed in either direction. We finished our talk with the doctor and prepared to leave.

A nice lady from their office escorted us to the elevator. What happened next still gives me chills to this day. I started to have trouble breathing. My knees felt as if they were about to come out from under me. I grabbed the wall and asked if there was somewhere I could sit down. The lady walking with us immediately helped me into the nearest room. I sat down and began to sob uncontrollably. Sherry comforted me as she cried. I cried and gasped for air for a while. It seemed that nothing could stop it. The reality of the day’s events had finally caught up with me. I had no idea how to deal with what was happening to my young family. How could this happen? Our first child had nearly perfect health compared to this. Why was this happening to us? What had we done to deserve this? I had more emotions and questions in that moment than I can remember  ever having in my life. I finally was able to gather myself enough to depart the sixth floor of the Medical University of South Carolina Children’s Hospital.

Caden is now seven years old and has endured many major surgeries including multiple heart surgeries, back surgeries, stomach surgeries, neck surgery and much more. He is still exclusively tube fed and has been given no hope of ever being able to nourish himself by mouth. He is expected to live a long life with proper medical treatment including regular cardiology check ups.

You can read Caden’s Page for the ongoing story of his life.